"Hey mom, how was work?" Bernard asked, as we walked into his house. His mother smiled at him and replied, "Work was great, thanks for asking!" She smiled at us and then asked, "Who's she? I've never seen her before." I kind of cringed when she said, "she" and "her". Bernard noticed and he quickly chimed in, "Actually, mom, "she" would like to be referred to as, 'he' and 'his' name is, Blake. His mother smiled brightly and looked at me.
She walked a little closer to me and said, "I greatly apologize. I had no idea. I know how tough that can be. My daughter used to go through that all the time before the surgery. I felt there was no other way for people to stop making fun of her."
I smiled and replied, "Yeah, Bernard was telling me about her. She seems pretty cool!"
His mother smiled at that and she called for her. "Molly, there's someone here that wants to meet you." I liked the name, Molly, it's kind of cute. I didn't want to be rude and ask what her original name was. You're not really supposed to ask because it makes some of us feel uncomfortable. I still wondered though. I'm hoping it will come up in a conversation or maybe even if I talk to Bernard privately, he can tell me. It always interests me on how some people choose their names.
Molly came downstairs and she looked similar to me. She had short red hair, a pair of black Vans on, band bracelets, she had gauged ears, and she had snake bites too. I already knew that her and I would become great friends. She just looks so sweet and cool. Molly walked over and stood by her mother's side. "So mom, who did you want me to meet?"
Her mother looked at me and said, "This is Blake, one of Bernard's friends!" Molly studied me for a few seconds and asked, "So, how long have you known my brother?" I gave her a confused look and before I could say anything Bernard said, "Bail---, I mean, Blake and I have been friends since the end of school, today, actually." Molly had a huge smile on her face, squealed, and said, "Yay! You brought home a transgender friend! Omg, this is amazing!" She looked at me and said, "You and I are going to be amazing friends, I can already see it!"
I blushed a bit and replied, "Yeah, I've never really had any friends before." Molly gave me a shocked look and said, "How could anyone not want to be friends with you? You seriously look so cool!" I looked up at Bernard and he had a few tears sliding down his cheek. He noticed that I was looking at him and he quickly wiped the tears away. The mouthed something to his mother and she nodded her head. I had no clue what was going on but, it didn't look bad.
Bernard gently grabbed my arm and said, "We're going to go up to my room and talk about some personal stuff." His mother walked into the kitchen along with Molly. He directed me up the stairs and into his room. "We can sit on my bed if you'd like, or the floor, or even those chairs in the corner." I walked over to his bed and sat down. He sat down next to me. He tried to say something but, instead, he broke down into tears. He wrapped his arms around me and he was trying to speak but, he kept tripping over his words. I couldn't understand a single word that he was trying to say.
I decided it would be best for me to try and cheer him up a bit. "Bernard, it's okay. Why are you crying?" He let go of me and looked me straight in the eyes. For a second, I could see pain in his eyes. It made my heart shatter. I begin to cry. He hugged me and I just lost it. I wasn't just crying, I was feeling his pain too. My stomach was getting upset and I wasn't sure what to do. He let go of me and said, "I-I'm s-so f-fucking s-sorry f-for b-being s-so m-mean t-to y-you!" He was stumbling on his words and his stuttering was getting worse. I felt so bad for him.
He tried to speak but, nothing was coming out. It made me feel even worse. I never knew that someone would ever care about me to the point where they would cry. I opened my mouth to speak but, Bernard spoke first. "B-Blake, I understand i-if you don't w-want to f-forg-give me."
I quickly replied, "T-That's nonsense, o-of course I forgive y-you."
He smiled and said, "Thanks! W-We can talk about what happened at your house now if you want." He was finished crying by this point. I was happy to see that he was finally calming down. It helped me calm down too.
I looked Bernard in the eyes and said, "Okay, where would you like me to start?"
He replied, "Wherever you'd like, this is your story after all."
I smiled and said, "Okay, so umm, my father, he, he, he's a drug addict. He abuses my mother and me. He sells drugs. I saw a pile of his drug money on the table so I took three hundred out of it. He owes me like five hundred dollars anyways. He originally stole the money from me to buy the drugs. That was my money that I was saving up to buy an apartment. I just want to get the hell out of that house. I don't want to come home everyday to screaming all the time. I absolutely hate living there. My parents forget to feed me all the time. No one has ever really shown me what care is. I've been depressed my entire life. I've attempted suicide about five times already. You were the reason for the third time. I'm sorry that you had to hear that. It's true though."
Bernard was left speechless. He just stared into my eyes. He stood up and walked over to his dresser. There was a mirror above it. He looked in the mirror and I could see my reflection through it too. We just looked at each other, through the mirror, for a few seconds. He slammed his fists down on his dresser and turned around to face me. He walked over to me angrily and looked at me. In that moment I was actually afraid of him again. He could tell that I was scared but, he still continued glaring down at me.
I looked down at the ground and then around the room. He said, "You know, I feel absolutely horrible for treating you like shit! You have every right to hate me and never talk to me, yet, you're still here. I have no clue how to deal with this. You've been treated like shit your whole life and I had the audacity to treat you like shit too. I almost killed you. I can never forgive myself for that. You deserve so much more than what people are giving you. I have to do something about this! How can I fix this?"
I look at him and respond, "I-I don't think you can."
He sat down on the bed next to me. He looked at me and said, "I'm sorry. I really wish that I could help. If you ever need anything, you can always text me!" I smiled at him and he smiled back at me.
"Thanks, Bernard, that's really nice of you!" I said, still smiling at him.
He stared into my eyes and said, "Call me "Bernie", that's what my friends call me."
I gave him a shocked look and replied, "Wait, r-really? Y-You consider me as a f-friend?"
He responded, "Yeah, of course! I mean, I don't see why I wouldn't. You're literally at my house and we've already cried with each other like three times today. No one ever sees me cry! You should feel special."
We both laughed about the, "You should feel special" part. I genuinely felt happiness when I was around him. I don't know what it was about him but, I felt safe when I was around him. He gave me a sense of peace. I guess this is what it feels like when you have a true friend. I can't wait to actually go to my very first party! Life is finally starting to look good. I have a friend and I am experiencing happiness. Nothing could make this any better!
