My mom and I walked outside to the car. We sat in the car in silence.
My mom started the car and headed towards home. I decided to break the silence.
"Are you doing okay, mom?"
She looked at me and then back at the road. "I'm doing a little better, I'm just confused as to why you're not upset."
It took me a minute to really think about it, I didn't really know why, but I had to answer her somehow. "I, I really don't know. It might be the fact that he was an awful person to me all the time and he never really loved me and always treated me like I was scum."
My mom nodded to herself and managed to choke out through her tears, "Your father did love you, he was just messed up and didn't know how to show you."
I sat there and dwelled on what she had said. Maybe he did love me, maybe she was right.
We got home. The air felt really thick and I felt like I was suffocating. I went to my room and I felt a little better. I decided that it was time to call Bernard and tell him.
"Hey, Bernie, can we talk?"
"Yeah, is everything okay?"
"My-my dad- he-he just..."
"Did your dad hurt you again, Blakey? Do I need to come over?"
"Bernie, he-he, he's dead."
It went silent on the phone for a few seconds.
"Oh, Blake, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I'm just, not sad. I'm not sure why, but, I'm not crying, I'm not upset."
"Do you need me to come over?"
"Yeah, that would be nice."
"Is your mom going to care? Is she going to be okay with it?"
"I don't care at this point. I just really need to see you!"
"Of course, I'm on my way!"
Bernard ran towards the door to head over to my house.
"Hey, Bernie, where are you going in such a rush?"
"Blake's dad just died and I'm going over to be with him."
"Oh my, that's awful, yes, please go over there! Be safe, you can stay the night if you have to. You need to be with him right now during this tough time!"
"Thanks, mom!"
Bernard rushed out the door and drove quickly over to my house.
I decided to go back down to the living room to be with my mom and near the front door for when Bernie showed up. My mom was sitting in the kitchen crying into her arms. I walked over and set my hand on her shoulder.
"It's going to be okay mom, it'll be fine."
"I know, thanks for trying to cheer me up."
Just then, we heard a knock at the door.
"A-Are you expecting company, Bailey?"
"Yeah, my boyf... my, uhh, a friend from school. I told him about what happened and he said that he wanted to come over and see how we were doing."
"Boyfriend? When did you get a boyfriend?"
I ran towards the door and quickly opened it.
"Baby, I hope everything's okay!" Bernard said quietly while pulling me in for a hug.
I hugged him tightly and then lead him into the house.
"Wow, Bailey, he's a cutie. Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?"
Bernie stared at me and then grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers. We walked into the kitchen to where my mom was sitting.
"We actually just started dating today." Bernard said.
My mom smiled. "Well, I'm happy for you, be good."
I smiled back at her.
My mom stood up and then lead us into the living room to sit on the couch. She turned on the T.V.
"I would like to talk to you about something mom, I know that right now is already a sensitive time for you, but, I'm not going by the name, "Bailey", anymore. I go by, "Blake" now and I would really appreciate it if you'd accept me for that."
"Yeah, whatever, I already knew you didn't like being a girl. So, does that make you two a "Gay Couple"?"
"Yeah, yes, it does." Bernard said confidently.
I smiled at him and then he kissed me.
My mom smiled and said, "Okay, that's fine, as long as you're happy and he treats you right, I guess that's all that matters at this point."
Bernie and I smiled at each other. I rested my head on his shoulder and we just sat there cuddling.
Everything, in that moment, felt perfect.
