Happier

➸ SIXTEEN

Hello! How are you? We haven't talked in so long.

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Thalia Lively

I smiled softly at the ground as I walked to get groceries for Nonna, so she can prepare for guests that we're having over tonight. I inhaled the autumn breeze contently, wanting to capture this moment fully.

I wasn't sure what I was smiling for, maybe it was because of my love for the fall; loving the way brought me calmness. Or maybe it was because I was constantly looking back and forth from my phone lock screen to the ground, remembering exactly how the moment in the picture had gone. It was something I could never, and would never forget. It was forever embedded into my brain.

I could still feel the energy powering throughout my body as I ran with the soccer ball across the field, hearing my families cheers apart from the rest of the crowds own screams.

I could still picture the deafening silence when I fell down the ground, my foot falling below me as pain surged into me. No one knew what to do and all I could think about was how now I wouldn't be able to play for months. I almost laughed out loud at how my first thought was that I couldn't continue the game.

For once, I didn't push away this memory. I let it repeat in front of my eyes, missing that day like no other. Of course, I was on the verge of tears that I would never experience that ever again, but at least I had once, lived that moment. I would never let go of it.

I felt my body shiver but I didn't pay attention to it, I looked up at the gloomy sky, still holding a certain beauty in it.

I walked on peacefully, letting myself breath and take a break from constantly punishing my mind. I always felt the need to keep my thoughts and feelings quiet, because once upon a time, my feelings were the ones that caused me all this grief. I always wished I could be emotionless, just a hollow body, carrying one day by day; but that's sort of what I've become. I hold a hollow heart; an empty one, waiting to be filled up to the top again but I've lost all hope for that to happen.

I'm not so sure I want that to happen anymore. A year ago, I would've done anything to have this pain be taken away but now I've realized that opening myself up would equal to an opportunity to be dragging into loneliness again.

I sighed as the grocery store came into view, I walked to it hurriedly as I could imagine Nonna waiting impatiently at home, needing to get the food ready and prepared as soon as possible. I was greeted by people walking around with carts filled with food. Grabbing my own cart, I start making my way to the fresh food aisle first.

I was half way through picking out some peppers when a cart lightly banged into mine. "Sorry." I said without looking up, and moved my cart more to the side as I assumed it was probably in the way.

"Thalia?" I heard a familiar voice say my name and I turned around, seeing Carter holding a bunch of snacks and drinks in his hands, dumping them into his cart.

"Oh, hey." I greeted, sending him a small smile.

He looked in my cart. "Living the healthy life, huh?"