Happier

➸ FORTY ONE

I. Am. Finally. Done. Exams.

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Thalia Lively

The main school hallway was as loud and busy as ever, since students seem to enjoy just standing around here during lunch time. I managed to block out all of the chattering as my brain went into its own trance and I was stuck reminiscing about previous events that haven't left my mind since they happened. I have a million thoughts racing in me and now of all times, I had no idea what to do. I stood at my locker, not bothering to take anything out or put anything in, I simply opened it just so the locker door would cover me as I took a few moments to collect my thoughts.

Aidan was alive.

Those words were on repeat all night long, it's almost like it hasn't hit me yet; that he really wasn't dead. I'm so scared to go see him, nerves are attaching themselves onto every part of me and my heart races every time I think about seeing him again. I've spent so much time without seeing his face, hearing his voice and having his presence around me so having the chance to get all of that back— I'm truly grateful.

My mind was overflowing with everything that happened yesterday, including kissing Nathan Reyes. I wish I could just pinpoint my feelings for him but I can't. I don't know what I want exactly and although I'm terrified of how he makes me feel, the one thing I know that I want is him, and him only. I looked around for him but it seems he wasn't here yet.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach just thinking about seeing him— god what have I turned into?

"I'm mad at you." I heard just as someone slammed my locker shut, giving me a minor heart attack in the process. I look over at Riley and a huge smile crosses my face as I jumped on her.

"Be mad at me later, I've missed you Ry," I hugged her tightly and she chuckled, hugging me back. I inhaled her natural fruity scent and sighed in content, I haven't spent as much time as I'd want to with her lately.

"You saw me like a day ago, weirdo." She replied then backed away from the hug, giving me a genuine smile.

"Yeah but we haven't had a full day just to ourselves lately and I need my best friend now more than ever," I said the last part with a quieter tone and her shoulders slumped as a pout etched itself on her face.

"I'm here for you babe, tell me everything that happened." She said, she said sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor in front of my locker. I smiled slightly then sat next to her, throwing my bag beside me as I sighed deeply.

"That bad huh?" She said as she watched me hesitate to start spilling my soul to her.

"I mean, no, it's good for majority of the part I guess? I don't know." I leaned my head against the locker behind me. "And that's what I hate the most, that I don't know what to do or say. I've always had an answer to stuff but now, I really just don't know what to do." She stayed quiet as I took a minute to process what I wanted to say next.

The hallways cleared out a bit more now, thankfully since I want a quieter space to talk to Riley. "My brother, Aidan, he's uh—" I started off by saying but paused to look at her face since I sensed her move as soon as she heard Aidan's name. Her eyes grew big and her mouth was held wide open; I could tell she knew where I was going with this. "H-he's alive, Ry." I said and my eyes started watering but I refused to let tears fall. I was not going to cry in school with having the risk of having anyone see me.