Doctor Engel [A Spanish bestseller now in English!]

CHAPTER 2

Mario was thoughtful enough to bring the car to the emergency entrance so I don't have to walk to the parking lot, something that I really appreciate. I wait, sitting in a wheelchair while he returns. When I see him appear I get up and try to reach him as he opens the door. I have to go slowly, because of the horrible pain that I feel in my ribs. It's a torment to walk and breathe right now. Mario begins to lose his patience and complains about my slow speed.

'There can't be a softer and more complaining girl than you,' he says as I take small steps and feel I'm drowning. I prefer not to answer and let him say what he wants, because otherwise it will be worse. 'Come on, pussy!' Screams again. 'We're going to grow roots at this rate!'

People from the street stare at him and I feel ashamed. He, on the other hand, feels quite the opposite: he puffs out his chest, believing that they see a man, very manly and dominant. He even dares to smile proudly.

I feel hurt and humiliated at that moment. It's his fault that I'm like this, and to top it all he's laughing at me. I don't deserve this. He has no right to treat me like this. I know I'm not a big deal, he reminds me of that every day. Obviously, no one will ever love me, because I'm worthless. He keeps repeating it to me... but I don't think I deserve this. No one deserves this. I'm physically and psychologically exhausted, for months I have the feeling that I can't do more. 25 years old and I feel sunk and finished. My life doesn't make sense. I can't leave him. But I don't want to continue living like this, and to top it all I can't tell anyone for fear of reprisals. I'm totally lost...

On our way home we sit in silence. I don't want to look him in the face, and I spend part of the way looking out the window. Until I feel his hand on my leg, and horrible nausea seizes me. I look at him and he's smiling at me. I try to stay calm, I don't smile back to give him any ideas, and I turn my head back to the window.

'You're not going to say anything?' he says as if nothing had happened.

'What do I have to say to you?' I ask.

'Well, I don't know, Natalia. I've been waiting for you at the hospital all day long, you should at least thank me, shouldn't you? You're an ungrateful whore!' I glare at him, but when his eyes connect mine I feel panic and instinctively look away. But I still can't help replying.

'Excuse me? You beat me senseless, Mario,' I need him to understand that he is wrong.

'I remind you that you are the one who has caused all this, young lady...' he replies sarcastically. This is too much for me. It's unreal and I must be dreaming.

'But, what are you telling me?' I ask, visibly affected.

'You are the useless one who fell down the stairs. You are very, very clumsy, Natalia.' He turns and smirks at me as he puts his hand back on my thigh. 'You'll have to reward me, won't you?' The nausea returns at that moment and I try to contain myself not to vomit.

Seconds later we arrived at the front door of our building. I beg him to leave me there while he parks. I feel very relieved when he says yes. I don't know if I would be able to get to the house, our parking space is far away. As well as I can I get out of the car trying to hide my clumsiness. I swallow all the pain to get out faster, my eyes fill with tears with the effort, but I need air and to avoid at all costs hearing him protest.

The next challenge I have to face is the stairs. We live on the second floor without an elevator. This part is going to be difficult... Very slowly, I go up. I haven't reached the fourth step when I hear him behind me. I turn around and he simply looks at me for a couple of seconds, then climbs up the stairs three by three and leaves me there. I have to take several breaks, it may have taken more than half an hour to get there, but I finally make it.