𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬; jjk + pjm✅[ONGOING]

9. So Far Away

"and now he's so devoid of colour,
he don't know what it means."

3rd Person POV.

IT had been a week since the forelorn boy had seen the little happiness he liked to call Jimin. But could he really blame anyone but himself for this sudden turn of events? He knew he was the one who kept pushing the latter away and being cold to him for no reason, but he was also foolish enough to hope then, that he would not want to be away.

So the tall boy settled with the conclusion that he is in fact a great coward who can't deal with others and always finds an escape route by pushing people away. Although he was successful in doing that, yet he still couldn't stop thinking about -

those soft eyes that expressed so much without saying anything,

how his lips curled softly into a smile like the moon and lighted up his small face,

how he looked like a mochi when he scrunched up his nose, when his friends cracked a bad joke,

how his ways of helping others which he found annoying earlier, gave him butterflies now,

and lastly his voice and how it enveloped the melodies like they were made for him,

- These observations though never made way out of his mouth but instead they found a place in the pages of his brown diary he carried around.

Craving the times he had spent with Jimin, the forlorn boy kept stealing glances at the oblivious short boy. Even before he even realised it, Jungkook soon wanted to know Jimin's thoughts, to talk to him and make him laugh. It was all in his useless daydreams he knew he couldn't ever do it, he could never embrace the boy he found comfort in; except in his blue dreams. His souls had never ached this way before, he had forgotten to feel long ago. And yet Jimin's presence made him nervous. Jungkook pulls at his own hair lightly, Since when was I intimidated by some one?

When he was young and foolish he had kissed a random girl at the club to suit his intimidating demeanor but surprisingly he didn't feel anything, nothing at all. At that time he couldn't understand why his body was reacting that way. He didn't know he was meant to feel something special, and have a special love. To the clueless Jungkook it was nothing compared to the butterflies he felt because of Jimin, he couldn't put it into words.

But then the ugly doubts and questions came creeping into the overthinking boy's head. He began wondering if his current state was a disability after a few google searches. After reading meangingless, hurtful things and getting influenced by the so called righteous people over the internet, he didn't want to feel this way. It made him feel like something was wrong with him, welcome with another bout of self loathing.