Chapter 23 - Shaky Ground

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The Daily Prophet
Issue No. 102,105
23 February, 2022

Public Uneasy

As the Ministry undergoes widespread investigation, the public is feeling an increasing uneasiness. Harry Potter has confirmed that he does not know where this "Caymus Stillens" is, or even what he wants to much extent. Citizens are encouraged to keep their wand on them at all times and to stay alert. Report any suspicious behavior to the Ministry...

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As dull and dreary as February could be, it did have an upside. While most couples were at the height of their mushy romance after Valentine's Day, Mollie and Marcus were arguing in the common room. Loudly. When Marcus inevitably glanced longingly in my direction after Mollie had stormed off, I just smirked at him. It wasn't until later that Lacy told me Mollie'd actually broken up with him then.

Other things were going well too. Fred was pushing us harder than ever in Quidditch, preparing us to face Slytherin in April. I was glad for an excuse to be outside and clear my head. It was a pretty nice way to stay away from my problems. try as I might to silence the voice in my head, it wouldn't shut up, blaring suspicion every time I was around Wren. I could hardly think straight anymore (though I'll admit, it was questionable if I had ever been able to).

Our relationship had become strained in a way I didn't know how to fix. I was suppressing the voice every time I heard it, and when I'd desperately asked Albus, he'd said he hadn't noticed me acting differently. At least, not like that. So I didn't completely understand the coldness, unless Wren was picking up on my subtle unease better than Albus was (highly possible). I felt awful every time I was around her. Torn up by guilt and a furiousness at myself for not trusting her. She hadn't even done anything. I cursed the world for the atmosphere that even made me suspect my friend in the first place.

Whenever I could think of an excuse, I avoided her. That made me feel as awful as I did when I was around her, and the voice was screaming in my head, but it also brought the slightest bit of relief. It was easier to quiet the voice when she was somewhere else. I knew that when she noticed, if she hadn't already, Wren would be really hurt and wouldn't understand. She would probably be worried about me. But then the voice popped up. Maybe it's safer to not be around her, it said. Maybe distancing yourself is safer.

And when that happened, I hopped up from wherever I was, whatever I was doing, and ran off in search of Wren and Colette, just to spite it. Because screw that voice. Screw Stillens. Screw everything that had put us in this situation.

Our friend group was splitting. Albus and me, Wren and Colette. I felt helpless. I wished I'd never brought the idea up to Albus, wished I could have an anchor of sanity in the crazy mess that was my mind. But he was consumed by doubts, too. Of course, there was Colette, but she would just call me stupid and tell me to get over myself, I was sure. It was Albus and me on one side of an ever-widening chasm, and Wren and Colette on the other. And we could only watch as they slowly drifted further away.

The only person who actually ever said anything about this was James, the very biased bystander. Despite his relationship with Wren, though, he was quickly getting concerned about Albus and I. Obviously, we couldn't tell him what was wrong, the underlying cause of everything. We claimed we hadn't noticed anything when he brought it up to us. I don't know what Wren said.

I threw myself into other things. Studying (as much as I hated it). Quidditch. The other Gryffindors. Never had I been so thankful for Lacy's hours of chatter as I was then. She kept the tension down in our dorm at nights, whether she knew it or not. And if she and Iris noticed that I was talking to them more than my other friends, they didn't mention it. No one mentioned anything. To be honest, I liked it better that way. Deny something enough, and you really stop believing it.

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