(r) suffocating

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Suffocating.

The prison that traps my lungs that I unconsciously can't breathe were the words that I've never spoken and the words I've never forgotten. I comfort myself through hypocrisy. I can't dwell too much into this raw and uncomfortable feeling. Why should things be easier said than done? They say it's all in the head, yet they're too late cause now the thoughts of anxiety have infected not only my head but my whole existence. It's not a big deal, yet I constantly find myself laughing for no reason, there was no comfort. The laugh brought emptiness. Smile they said. It's a medicine for happiness. Smiling hurt my mouth muscles. It was in vain as I know I'll get wrinkles.

I'll try to smile more I guess; medicine doesn't work overnight. 

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