Letters for Delyeah

Letter Two

Delyeah,

It's been a few weeks since I first and last wrote to you. I thought it was going to be a one time thing, but I found that I enjoy talking to you, even if the conversation is rather one-sided.

It's better that you don't read what I am writing, anyway, for I am rather bad at expressing my feelings since you left. Maybe if you were still here I could tell you how I'm feeling in words and hand gestures, and it would make sense to you only for the reason that you have felt the exact same way.

It is sort of hard to explain. I guess the best way to describe it is that it feels like my sadness is weighing down on my chest, making it cave in, and my heart and lungs are slowly getting crushed under the debris. And some days, it's like I'm not even there. I mean, I'm there, physically, but it feels like time is non-existent, and my mind spirals out of control.

I remember the first time your grandmother, Gretta, sat down with me after I started to fall for you to have a serious discussion. Of course, I was unaware of what it was like to feel something for someone like I was feeling for you. If I recall correctly, I was 11, nearly 12. We were going out of the house I had been placed in, and we were going to your school's talent show.

I didn't really know anyone besides you and Gretta and of course, my dreadful parents, and as a result, I didn't go out much. You had just introduced me to Zakari and Kendall, but I didn't think they were going to stick around for too long, so I kept to myself.

That night, I remember, you were really excited because you and I had never been outside of the house together, and you wanted me to hear you sing. I remember you dashed to the back to get ready, leaving Gretta and me in our seats on the front row.

There were a few people who got to go in ahead of you, as to be expected. Not everyone can be first. I wasn't really listening, but when they called your name, I finally started to really pay attention. "Delyeah Summers."

You came onto the stage in a long dress. I remember you wouldn't shut up about it prior to the event. It was this electric blue, and it looked so pretty on you. That was your color.

I can't remember what you sang, but I remember I was practically gawking at you. I didn't know how other people weren't. You were the most beautiful 11 year old.

That night, you had fallen asleep on Gretta's lap because you weren't feeling well because some of your classmates picked on you about wearing a long dress when everyone else wore casual attire. You looked beautiful, no matter what they said.

Well, I was nearly asleep beside you when Gretta and I sparked conversation. We were talking about you that night. She looked at me and said, "I saw the way you were looking at her."

I thought I was in trouble, until she explained. I was just being a child. I had a child crush. Perfectly

normal. I never stopped falling for you after that, no matter how much I tried to suppress it.

You were just perfect to me from your looks to your personality to your quirks to your imperfections. You were absolutely perfect to me.

I never knew I could fall so hard when we first got together when we were twelve ... I feel really dumb for thinking that I wouldn't fall this hard. I feel really dumb for not knowing I could fall this hard at all.

I just really miss you, and I don't know if you are listening to me right now. I just want to know that you care...

You were one of the only ones who ever cared about me, and you're gone now. Gretta died before you did, and no one else cares. The only people who even know I exist are my parents, and they don't want anything to do with me.

You cared for me like no one else would ...

And now you're, just, gone.

I love and miss you

-Luka