From The Ashes.

Chapter 14

AN: Trigger warning for depression and self harm in this chapter. It's okay to skip this chapter if you need to.

Zak didn't say anything else, instead he simply dragged me back up the stairs. His grip on my wrist scared me, his fingers so tight I could feel the bruise forming a we tore through the third floor. I only had a second to see Dots surprised expression as we made our way past her. Neither of us said a thing until Zak pulled me into my room and slammed the door behind us. He paced the room, both hands gripping his hair as I bit my lip. Seeing him like this was extremely disconcerting.

"Zak, I-"

"How could you be so stupid?" I flinched when he suddenly exploded, turning to me with his teeth bared in anger. "How could you talk to them like that?" He demanded, pointing violently in the direction we'd just come from. I took a deep breath and faced him.

"How could you stand there and let them talk to me like that? He tried to use the Voice on me!" Zak seemed confused for a moment before continuing his pacing. It seemed like he was struggling with something.

"Is it really that bad? Could you not have let them complain and not say anything?" He asked, almost desperately. I was silent, letting his words sink in. Was he serious? Of course I couldn't! I had every right to call them out on their bullshit. Didn't I?

"They wanted your dad to punish me!" I cried, unsure of what to say. Zak sighed and shook his head.

"He would've just put you to work in the kitchen or something. There was no need to risk everything like that." I scowled, still huddled close to the door.

"I didn't know that! How are you supposed to expect me to know these things?" His anger was starting to infect me so my voice grew louder as I spoke.

"I expect you to think!" Zak yelled, turning on me. "We are in danger, we told you that but you've only been here a day and you've already put us at risk." A dark hole of horror opened in my chest, sucking all other emotion into it as Zak stood, glaring at me. How? How had I risked their safety? Even when I didn't know what I was doing, I still somehow managed to hurt others. I'd told him, didn't I? I told him that I was going to hurt them and yet he still seemed surprised that I'd done exactly that. What did he expect?

"What did I do?" I whispered, trying to keep my expression straight. Zak sighed, the tension leaving his body as his hand went through his hair.

"Emil and Taceur are warrior packs. Ossian is relying on their protection in case the rogue pack attacks us. We are not a warrior pack, we do not have their numbers and you risked it was disrespecting their leaders." My foot tapped incessantly as I twisted the hem of my shirt around my fingers. I wanted to cry but I stilled the quivering of my chin as Zak stood, watching me. I couldn't let him see me cry. He was right, I had been stupid. I should've known. I should've connected the dots. It wasn't his job to comfort me because I was too dumb to notice the world around me. No, I refused to be his burden.

"Ossian?" I asked and he blinked in surprise.

"Oh, the name of my pack." He seemed confused about whether or not he'd told me that before. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I nodded. I didn't want him to think I was as pathetic as I really was. I had to defend myself somehow.

"Calista thought I acted admirably." It was the first thing that came to mind but I immediately regretted it as Zak sighed in deep frustration and shook his head at me.

"And she still saw my father lose control of the situation because you decided to speak up. They may decide not to ally themselves, that Ossian isn't worthy enough to protect." He frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared intently at a spot on the wall just above my head.