From The Ashes.

Chapter 43

A few hours later, Zak had to go do Alpha things and Hana, who was bored out of her brain, decided to go with him. Caerun stayed with me as Cody decided to curl up and have a nap, exhausted because he'd apparently slept badly during the time I was out. We still couldn't explain what had knocked me out so badly and neither could Caerun remember why the feeling was so familiar to him. He said it hadn't lasted long enough for him to get a good feel of it. I curled up on my chair by Zaks desk as Caerun pushed himself to do as many push ups as he could. When he got into the hundreds, I was half convinced he was a cyborg.

"Aren't you tired yet?" I asked, ignoring the way the glass doors rattled as the wind whistled past. Caerun grinned, not letting up even as he shook his head, spraying sweat all over the floor.

"Nah, this is every day stuff for me. You think I became the packs strongest fighter by sitting around?" Caerun laughed when I glared at him, muttering under his breath as he continued to count. I shook my head, absently looking at the papers strewn around Zaks desk.

"Whoever your mate is, I feel sorry for him." I muttered, studying the chores list. We needed to switch Jerry and Dara on saturday so that she could look after Julie, I noted as I put it back down. Caerun huffed and pushed himself into a sitting position, stretching his arms above his head.

"Why is that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I smiled, shrugging as I turned to face him again.

"Because, when are you going to have time for him? If you're not training, you're doing Beta duties. The only time I see you most of the time is when we're eating and I'm often with Zak. If you push yourself so hard that you're barely with your Alpha, what's going to happen when you meet your mate?" I meant it as a joke, a light hearted topic to converse about, but the moment I finished talking Caeruns expression had turned dark. I swallowed, watching the way his hazel eyes turned a light green as he pulled his knees up to his chest.

"I think about that sometimes but, I'm scared that if I stop, even for a day, I'll lose all the progress I've made." The atmosphere had changed so abruptly that I had to pause for a second to work out what I was going to do. After a few seconds of silence I inhaled deeply and tilted my head at him.

"You know that's not true, right? I was only making fun of you. You push yourself harder than anyone in this pack, it'd be good to have a day off every now and then wouldn't it? I mean, there's a blizzard raging and you're still training. Can't you take a break? I don't think Zak would mind." It seemed that had been the wrong thing to say and as Caerun curled into an even tighter ball. I blinked, confused as to what to say or do.

"You don't understand, I owe the Calvius' everything. Without them, I'd be nothing." I was silent, not wanting to interrupt him. I wanted to ask why and if this was why he never stopped but those questions seemed so obvious that I didn't want to utter them. Something in me told me that if I spoke, he'd clam up. It was time for listening. Caerun sighed and rested his head on his knees.

"I know Zak's told you, that when we were kids our mothers were killed trying to protect us?" I nodded as I watched the flash of pain cross his eyes. "I was five years old. I know how badly Zak regrets what happened but I don't think we could have done anything. What I regret is what happened next. My father didn't come from Ossian but my mother refused to leave Minka Mia so he came to stay with us. I don't know if it's because he felt he had ties here or because he really loved my mother that much but... unlike Llewellyn when my mother was killed, my father fell apart." I watched without moving as his shoulders began to tremble. It was strange, but I got the feeling Caerun was the kind of guy that would shut down the moment you tried to comfort him.

"I guess I just wasn't good enough for him. After a year of ignoring me, my father just decided to leave Ossian and return to his old pack one day. He didn't even bother to tell me, I found out when Llewellyn came up to comfort me. My own father couldn't be fucked raising me because I hadn't been able to protect my mother! At five fucking years old!" His fists slammed into the wooden floor he was sitting on, tears streaming down his cheeks as his face twisted in an attempt to keep them in.