Shraman: Tales Of Love || Completed

1.4 the confrontation!

~One of the hardest thing to do in life is to grieve the loss of a person, who is still alive and in front of you~

Suman woke up the next morning, a little tired. It had been days since she had a peaceful full night sleep. But as she tried getting up, she realized the tight hold she was in and that was when she looked at her side only to be stunned. Shravan was sleeping on her side of the bed, holding her waist and hiding his face in her hairs. She gently pulled his hand away from her waist and got up the bed, securing a pillow in his hold so that he doesn't wake up feeling her absence. Suman freshened up and came towards Shravan's side of bed to wake him up but frowned. His pillow was wet. She checked the AC connection on the top of the bed to see if the water had leaked out of it but found it to be working properly. Then how come was the pillow wet? Moreover it was soaking wet and had dried only a little, she could tell that by touching it. While she stood totally perplexed, shravan turned the right side, towards her, still deep in sleep and that was when she saw them- the dried tear marks on his once handsome face, the overgrown beard and the tired face! Everything became crystal clear to her. It wasn't the AC leaking, it was his tears. Suman felt a lump in her throat, her chest constricted at the thought of him spending the night crying. She sat by him and caressed his hairs. They were still so soft, like earlier.

Pyaar h ya saja,
Ae mere dil bata!
Toota kyu nhi,
Dard ka silsila!
Iss pyaar me ho kaise kaise imtihan,
Ye pyaar likhe kaisi kaisi daastan!
Ya rabba!
De de koi jaan bhi agar,
Dilbar pe ho na dilbar pe ho na koi asar!

Sharvan woke up some time later to find his head in suman's lap, her hands kneading his hairs softly. He felt a certain warmth in her touch, a kind of peace flooding his heart. He turned to hide his face in her lap and she kept ruffling his hairs, simultaneously dropping a kiss over his head. Shravan felt a weight on his chest with her touch. The last ten years he had craved for someone to hold him so badly that today when she did, he didn't know what to feel anymore. His eyes got wet with the emotions he was going through and in no time, suman felt her kurta getting wet with his tears. If suman could she would have given up on anything to bring back that boyish smile on his face. It hurt her to see him cry and that was exactly what she had witnessed the last few days. Shravan was broken so badly that all that was left in him were these salty water reserves. It had been days since she had seen him smile.

"Shravan?", She cooed him softly but instead of responding he broke down more, clutching her waist tight to the point that it hurt her physically.

"I can't take this sumo. I can't. It is all crushing me. Please either take it all away or let me give up. Let me die suman. I can't handle this anymore...", He cried out loud and suman herself couldn't hold her sobs. Both cried holding each other for a really long time.

Kaisa hai safar, wafa ki manzil ka,
Na hai koi hal, dilo ki mushkil ka,
Dhadkan dhadkan kitni ranjishen
Sansein sansein kitni bandishein!
Kahi toh har lamha hotho pe fariyad h,
Kisi ki duniya chahat me barbad h!
Ya rabba!
De de koi jaan bhi agar,
Dilbar pe hona, dilbar pe hona koi asar!

After a few painfully long hours, suman felt him sleeping again and she made him lie down again properly. She knew he had not been resting or eating adequately since a lot of days. So she went into the kitchen to make some breakfast for him when she saw preeti and pushkar standing in the hallway, tensed.

"Pushkar, whats wrong?", Suman enquired. Pushkar could not reply to her. His brows frowning, his gaze was fixed at the door.

"Suman di, ramnath uncle is returning today. And nirmala aunty is accompanying him", Preeti broke the news and all the colours drained out of Suman's face. She had no idea how was Shravan going to face his parents. He had not been in front of his father since he got to know the truth, and his mother, in last ten years or so. Shravan had missed his mother way to much, but all that missing had been secretly buried in his heart under the pretense of the hatred. And now that his reason to hate came out to be a lie, suman could not think of what the confrontation would be like. Moreover he was in a very weak frame of mind. Suman's heart started beating frantically in her chest. His morning words haunted her mind.

"Take it all away. I cant take it anymore. Please".

Somehow grabbing herself she moved to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. His favourite- aaloo ka partha. She served it with his favourite green chutney and took it upstairs. He was awake, his gaze at the ceiling. But there was something that terrified suman. His eyes, that depicted raw pain every time she tried to read them, were empty today. Almost dead.

Koi na sune, sisakti aanho ko,
Koi na dhare tadapti banho ko!
Aadhi aadhi puri khwahishein,
Tooti tooti sab farmaishein.
Kahi shaq h kahi nafrat ki deewar h.
Kahi jeet me bhi shamil pal pal haar h.
Ya rabba!
De de koi jaan bhi agar.
Dil bar pe ho na dilbar pe hona koi asar.

"Shravan", suman called out to him with all her love but Shravan didn't really respond. She sat by his side on the bed, took a bite of the cuisine and forwarded it to him. He didn't deny, didn't retort or didn't backout. He simply had it without a word. She kept on feeding him and he kept on eating but no words were spoken. The eerie silence suffocated suman but she knew she had to there for him. Suddenly the door opened and a distraught ramnath entered followed by a teary nirmala.

"Shravan....", Ram called out to his dear son before engulfing him in a hug wetting Shravan's shirt. If it was true that ramnath had acted selfish and egoistic in his approach, it was also true that he loved Shravan more than everything in the world. And knowing that this breakdown of shravan was due to him made it more bad for the father in him.

"Papa, don't cry. I couldn't stand your tears before. I can't stand them now either", Shravan responded to his papa rubbing his back taking the entire clan by happiness. Nirmala sat near him and kept her hand on his head. Shravan turned to find his mother beside him, finally after these many years of torment. He didn't say anything to her but laid down in her lap, the same way he used to do in his childhood. Nirmala couldn't be happier. She ruffled his hairs and kissed his forehead again and again. Pushkar was surprised to see his brother accepting his parents but nevertheless he was happy for him. The only person who was not convinced was suman. After everything also, his dead eyes were speaking to him, awaring her of a storm that was to come her way!