Pain is something I have become accustomed to.
I don't mean pain physically. I mean the mind numbing pain where nothing seems real, but you're aware that this is reality.
Your heart literally hurts from the break in your soul. The damage feels unrepairable, but the smile is scarred on your face.
I've been a smiling shadow for almost a year now and I have my routine down.
1) Wake up and wallow alone in misery until it's time to leave for school.
2) Hide behind my hood, with a smile, ignoring all the looks and whispers. No use wondering if they are talking about me. They are.
3) Never, and I mean Never, look at locker 221. Usually I stare at the ground when I walk by or on really bad days, close my eyes so I'm not even tempted to see the ghosts of the past.
4) Act normal (or close enough to what can be considered normal these days) so Mom doesn't try therapy again.
Therapy can work, no doubt on that. The problem is, you have to want it to work. You have to want to talk about what caused the pain and work through it. I'm not ready to handle that, so i always told them what they wanted to hear.
The final step to my routine:
5) Go to sleep and if you cry, do it quietly.
I realized my problem pretty quickly. I'm stuck in this town, with the same people, same places, same memories.
I can't just make new memories here because the old ones have scarred the beauty and safety that I once called home.
I want to blame him for what happened. He was selfish and broke me. But no matter where the blame, the truth remains that I am broken.
Only three more months until I leave this town. College will be my fresh start.
Where the past and the ghosts will be left behind and I can begin to glue together the pieces that are left of me.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Hello and welcome to my New story! Thanks for joining me on this journey. This will be my first "ChickLit" story, so I'm excited!!
What do you think of the prologue? Don't forget to like and comment :-)
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When We Collide (Temporarily On Hold)
ChickLit#15 in Chicklit on 9/18/2017 #151 in Chicklit on 10/3/2017 ©MadnessReverie College is exactly what Brinley Hammond wants to escape the scars of her past and start over. She soon discovers that college is a lot more than just higher education. She's...
