When We Collide (Temporarily On Hold)

9 🌸

I fought with myself for the rest of the weekend. Pros and cons of this job that Finn mentioned. Round and round in my head it goes, like some merry-go-round, there is no end just more circles.

Pro, Fifty dollars an hour, One hundred and fifty dollars a day. Two days a week. Really what job beats that? I would have to work more hours and focus less on school work.

Con, when dealing with a job like this where money is so easily made, there is always a price. What is this price? A piece of my soul? My body? My dignity? Is the money really worth the price of being naked in front of strangers?

But what's the alternative? None of my other applications have even received a call back, and I have applied nearly everywhere. If I don't get a job, I won't eat. I won't have money to do laundry and where will that get me. Dropping out of school and going back to Acala with my tail between my legs.

I can't go back. The stares, the whispers, it's all too much! Don't they have anything better to do but talk about the past! I moved past it, so should they.

Making a split second decision, I texted Finn.

me: I'm in. When do I start?

My heart beats faster in my chest as I wait for a reply. The things we do to escape our pasts and leave the skeletons where they are.

Finn: Perfect timing. 2mrrw. I'll meet you in the lobby. 5:15 :-)

I type a quick response before throwing the phone to my side, on my bed. I want to text Ryan or walk down there, but it is almost midnight. I don't know what her sleep schedule is. The only reason I was willing to text Finn is because he says he is up until at least two every morning.

I roll over, trying desperately to keep the thoughts of him away. I don't want to know what Declan would think. It was his choice that he left my life, so why do I care what he would say. He lost the right to have an opinion over a year ago! Tears roll down my cheeks as I try to persuade myself of that.

I don't even remember falling asleep. I wake to my alarm, ready to get this day over with. My mind just keeps going round and round and I can't keep my thoughts straight.

I couldn't focus on anything in my Humanities class, except for Noah. The Professor drone on and on about something paleolithic but all I could see is how care free he is.

Truth to be told, I'm jealous. I wish I could be that carefree still. Act as if nothing bothers me no matter what I feel on the inside. Maybe that is what intrigues me so much about Noah. I am not naive, I know that within each person is a hidden storm. A tornado ready to touch down, leaving chaos in it's path.

But Noah seems different. It's like everything in his life is sun shine and rainbows. He has no reason to frown, no rain clouds to bring him down. Maybe he is just really good at hiding his emotions. Even now he just sits there, void of any expression.

I was so lost in thought that I missed the professor dismissing us. It wasn't until Noah shot from his seat like he was on fire that I realized. I glanced down at my phone checking the time.

3:15. I have just enough time to shower and get ready for tonight.

I walk into the lobby of McGreggor hall at exactly 5:15. My hair is in a loose ponytail and I wore just regular jeans and V neck. Finn had told me not to worry about what I wore, he said it wouldn't matter anyway.

"Brin, you ready?" Finn walks up to me, smiling widely.

I try to return the smile, but I know that I was unsuccessful. I don't need to see the look of confusion on his face. He grabbed my arm, wrapping it tightly around his before leading me out the dorms.

I can't help but stare at him. His brown eyes so soft and his smile so genuine as he nods at everyone we pass that he knows. How does he know so many people?

"Don't be nervous, baby girl. I promise it isn't that bad. They don't bite." he chuckles to himself, wrapping his arm around me.

He makes it seem so easy, so natural. So why do I feel like I am walking to my death? Am I overthinking so much that I have deluded this to more that what it is?

It is two hours of my life today. Two hours and I will have one hundred and fifty dollars in my pocket. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Finn stops outside of the building, unwrapping his arms from around me.

"Have fun."

"Wait you're not going with me?" I grabbed his arm in my grip, desperate to keep the familiar with me.

Can I do this on my own?

"They don't need me." He shoots me a wink before getting out of my grip and walking away.

Dammit! I was really counting on having the familiar face to help keep me calm. It is always easier to have someone to lean on, and I was hoping Finn would be that for me tonight. Why didn't he tell me this sooner?

I look at the metal doors that stand before me. They are just normal doors and yet somehow, they aren't.

It's like I found myself at a metaphoric threshold. One the side where I stand is everything I have ever known. I was a child that left home with nothing but a wish to get away from the past. On the other side of these doors, is adulthood. No more safety nets. I am an adult and this is what I have to do to survive.

Taking a deep breath, I push through the doors. The room is nothing extraordinary. Wood flooring and light blue paint, with another set of doors on the other side. There are a few hooks with black silk robes, hanging by a very dirty sink.

I push pass all my nerves and strip off my clothes before I can change my mind. Full nudity is optional, so I decide to keep my panties on, at least for this time. I grab one of the robes, securing the tie around my waist before folding my clothes neatly.

It's easy money. It's easy money. I chant to myself as I push through the door.

<3 <3 <3 <3