hi. my name is jinyoung. and i have a heart disease that i've lived with almost all my life. i need heart surgery but unfortunately they can't operate till i'm older. and older is this year. all i have to do is hope and pray and wait for someone to donate their heart.
it really sucks having a heart donated to you. you feel so guilty. this person is giving up their entire life just so you can live. it feels wrong. i'm supposed to die so why should they die so i can live. apparently the doctor said i will receive the heart of someone who's dying but has a healthy heart.
even if that is the case i still feel horrible. i'm taking someone's life away as well as removing someone from others causing them pain. and you're the reason they're in pain. it's heart shattering, literally.
but while i wait for my new heart, i still have a daily life. i don't have many friends. but i understand it. getting attached to a temporary item is soul crushing. it saves everyone the pain for when i die.
just because i don't have many friends doesn't mean my life isn't enjoyable. i spend lots of time with my family, and i know a lot of the other patients at the hospital. speaking of hospital that's where i am right now. my mom is typing away on her phone as i sit patiently in the waiting room for my weekly check up.
i stare at the tv bored out of my mind when a boy catches my eye. i've never seen him here before he must be new. he starts walking towards me and i watch as he smiles at me and sits down next to me. his smile is cute and bright.
"hey." he says as he turns his head to look at me. i really didn't expect him to talk to me.
"hi." i respond. was that too cliche? is there a way to not be cliche in this situation?
"my name's youngjae! and you?" he continues to smile his cute ass bright smile.
"i'm jinyoung." i chuckle at him. he laughs back and i swear it's the cutest laugh i've ever heard.
"so what are you here for? i've never seen you here before " i ask eagerly to know what could possible be wrong with this sweet boy.
"oh, uhm, heart disease." he says and his smile fades. although me on the other hand, i continue to smile like the idiot i am and youngjae gives me a weird look.
"i have heart disease too!" i said a little too excited.
"are you happy about that or something?" youngjae asks while laughing at me.
"i've just never met someone with the same condition as me." i said explaining why i was so happy. he mouthed an 'oh' and the conversation flutters away. it was quiet and boring again. i sigh and lean back in my chair folding my hands in my lap.
"choi youngjae?" the doctor calls out and youngjae gets up and walks away. he gives a small smile and waves at me before disappearing.
"park jinyoung!" my doctor calls. i follow her to the exam room. she does the basics, check my vitals, make sure i feel okay.
"jinyoung i have great news for you!" she smiles from ear to ear.
"what is it?"
"we found you a heart!"
