i'm home from the hospital now. my mom has been calling everyone she knows to tell them about my heart they finally found for me. i wish i could meet the person but they said i'm not allowed.
i can't stop thinking about youngjae. he really was cute. i'm hoping to catch him tomorrow again before i go into surgery. oh, yeah, my doctor said i should have the surgery as soon as possible which is 8:00 am tomorrow.
i'm excited and scared. if the surgery succeeds i live. if the the surgery doesn't succeed, i die. this could possibly be my last day on this earth. this is why i want to see youngjae again so badly. his smile makes me happy. i want to get to know him.
my mom and i are entering the hospital now. i impatiently stand at the front desk with my mom. she finishes the paperwork and i dash for the waiting room. there he is. in the same chair, with the same smile. he looks over my way and waves, somehow his smile grows larger. i walk over and sit down.
"hi!" youngjae says.
"alright i'm gonna say this now," i glance over at the clock, 7:30 am, "i have surgery in 30 minutes for a new heart. i can either come out alive or dead. i really like you and want to know more about you before i might die. and if i don't? it's all the more reason to get your number and hang out with you." i watched as youngjae smiled.
he told me everything from his favorite flower to embarrassing stories. he was so sweet. and had such a big heart. he was everything. the whole time i stared into his eyes and listened. i couldn't stop looking at him. i was staring perfection in the face.
"park jinyoung?" a nurse called my name. i gave youngjae a hug.
"thank you for telling me more about you" i said to him before i left for uncertainty. i follow the nurse to the exam room where they have me lay on a wheely bed. two surgeons come in and hook me up and start wheeling me to the surgery room.
i say goodbye to my mom as she's crying. they pull me into the room. my doctor walks over with a syringe full of anesthetic.
"don't worry jinyoung, you won't feel a thing" she sticks the syringe in my arm and i feel myself getting dizzier. she asks me to count backwards from 100.
at 93 everything goes black.
