Unwanted |Demi Lovato & Maddie De La Garza|

5 - Flying To South America

Maddie's Pov.

Today, Demi,I and the crew are going to South America,for the other part of the Neon Lights Tour. I'm so glad she hasn't figured out my dark secret yet,I don't ever want her to figure out. It will tear her into shreds of pieces,I can't even imagine how broken she would be. I don't want her to to go back to the way she was. I can't risk it. She's too special to me.

"Maddie! Come on,we're boarding the plane."

"Coming!" I grab my suitcase and boarded the crowded plane. There was this girl who suddenly started screaming like crazy..I thought the plane was gonna explode or something. Then,I realized the girl was a LOVATIC. Wow,Demi has some obsessed fans. I would love to be like her one day..inspirational..and well..getting through this shit. I wanna recover,but I don't think I'm worth it. Plus,it would freak people out.

"Maddie,over here,what are you doing? Daydreaming?" Demi laughed.

Shit,I wasn't paying attention to her. "Huh? Yeah...whatever." I sat next to Demi's seat and put my seatbelt on. I looked in my backpack and saw my razor,somehow I snuck that on the plane with me. I can't go an hour without making a cut on my wrist.

"Hey Demi,do you think I can go to the bathroom real quick?" I ask,hoping she would agree so I can cut. It's so addicting.

"No sweetie,I don't think so. The plane is gonna lift off any minute now." she told me. I understood. But all I wanted to do was hurt myself. Shame on you Maddie,shame on you. The plane lifted off and now is in midair. I wanted to throw up.

Suddenly,the seat belt sign went off. Time to go harm myself. "Hey Dems,can I go to the bathroom now?" I faked a smile. She sighed, "Make it quick,Madison."

I grabbed my blade,hid it in my pocket,and walked to the restroom. One was occupied but the other wasn't. I pushed the door open. It sure was a small bathroom..smaller than the ones I'm used to. First,I slid two fingers I'm my throat,gagged,and threw up tons of blood. I don't even know why I did that,I didn't even eat. Well,the less blood I have,the slimmer I'll be.

I took the blade from my pocket and sat down on the toilet lid. Slowly,I put the blade on my wrist,slid it across,feeling the pain. I gasped. It hurt so fucking much. But..I loved the feeling. I felt alive. The blood dripped down my arm. I just stared at it,like always. It was relieving me from the stress.

I made another cut just below my first cut. I did it deeper this time. It hurt more but i loved seeing the blood come out,knowing that if enough blood goes away,I would die. I wanna die.

I cut again and again..before I knew it there were seven cuts on my wrist. I felt so dizzy,but I can't collapse.

Maddie,focus..don't fall.

I stood up and cleaned myself up,quickly. I washed the blade off,trying to focus. I don't wanna faint,I don't want Demi to know about this. I put the blade back into the original place,my pocket.

I walked back to my seat. "You okay?" Demi asked, I smiled, "I'm fine,just tired."