Hope

Chapter 8

        I slowly start to open my eyes, waking up. I see a figure before me, and I start to freak out for a second. But then, I remember last night and calm down.
I can't believe he did that. He wasn't lying when he said he wanted to help. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Maybe things aren't looking so bad, maybe my sister will be ok. Maybe Asher and I will get to know each other. A bunch of maybes, but they are possible.
The thought of my sister jolts back into my head. The two sides of my brains start fighting each other.
How can you be happy when you're loving sister is dying? What is wrong with you?
You should try and stay positive through this. Anything that'll keep you happy is necessary, try to make the best of it.
The voices start getting louder and louder, my brain arguing with itself now. It gets more and more aggressive. I put my hands over my ears to try and stop the voices and the headache I know is coming.
It doesn't work for either. I so badly want to take up Asher, but I know I shouldn't. I can't, not for a stupid thing like this.
Another side of my brain gets into the jumble now, telling me to wake up the one person who has been trying to help me.
Do it. You're sister's dying, you're a terrible person. Be positive. Do it. Be positive. You suck, you're worthless.
My eyes start to gather tears that I force myself to keep from rolling down my face. I take deep breaths, not being able to calm down.
Oh, God, if you're up there, please send a sign. Help me, please. Anything. Anything at all, I'm begging you. Please.

•••

I slowly start to wake up, my eyes adjusting. I see Riley in front of me, I hadn't forgotten what I had done. How could I? I don't know if that's what I should have done. I think it was the right choice, I don't know.
As my eyes start to focus I can see that she is laying so she is facing the opposite direction, not looking at me. But then, I see it looks like she's shaking or something.
        She's crying again.
        "Riley?" I whisper softly, and the shaking stops, but she doesn't turn over again.
        "Hey, look at me," I say, waiting for me, and she does. She looks just so defeated, depressed, and broken.
        There's probably so much I don't even know about that's hurt her.
        I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to my chest. To my dismay, she puts her hands on my chest and pushes back away from me. I furrow my brows at her.
        "What's this for? Is it some sort of plan?" She asks me. My eyes widen.
        "Listen, I know I'm known for being rude, but I really want to help, ok? I want to be a nice person, there's no scheme, I just want to be there for you," explain for what feels like the millionth time.
        She puts her hands over her face, starting to shake again.
        "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Do I try to be positive or is that disrespecting my sister? Am I supposed to just trust you even though I've seen that's the wrong decision through past experiences? I don't know what's the right thing to do, I really don't want to make the wrong decision again Asher. I don't, ok?" She says through her hands, stammering slightly.
        "Just listen to me. I am going to help. I promise. You've been through so much, you deserve something to go right. Please," I practically beg her.
        She finally looks up at me, taking her hands down. Her face blotchy and some streaks of tears down her face. I try pulling her close again, and this time, she doesn't push away.
        That's all I need for conformation. She buries her face in my chest as my arm is still around her, trying to calm her down.
        In surprised at how much it works, she calms down pretty quickly. I can hear her stop crying, and gradually the shaking stops.
       "I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. There was a reason for you sister getting hurt, and I think I found that reason. That's something positive, right? Not everything has to be terrible, sure, it is very very bad, but there's good in most things Riley," I say, trying to cheer her up. I'm not the best with comforting people but at least I'm trying.
        She takes her head off of the safety of my chest, and it looks like she's finally at peace.
       "Thank you, oh thank you," she whispers, and for the first time in what I'm guessing is a long time, a smile spreads across her face.
        A big smile grows on my face. I helped her, I actually helped her. I did something right. I did it. She's smiling.
        "Now we just have to wait for Monday, so I can see if you're really telling the truth and you won't go back to practically stepping all over me," she half jokes, the smile still on her face which keeps the world around me glowing.
        "Woww," I say with a smile, dragging it out. "I won't, obviously," I add a bit more seriously, but still with a smile.
        "Hey, you can't blame me. Anyways, do you know when I'm leaving yet? Not that I want to, but you probably want me out of your hair," she says still lightheartedly.
        I shrug. "We'll have to ask my mom, she'll come in to tell us when breakfast is ready. I hope you like pancakes, because the ones she make are literally bigger than the plate.
       She nods. "Yeah, I haven't had one in a while, but it will be good, at least I hope," Riley states in her regular, happy voice. Her happiness makes me even happier.
       One day down. At least I helped a little bit, but I got one good day. I did it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Ahhh! 277 reads! This literally blows my mind. I love all of your guys' comments, they make my day. Thank you so so so much. I'm going to try and publish one chapter a week, but school has been rough so I don't know how this will go. Probably skipping to Monday in the next chapter, I have some interesting ideas. Thank you so so SO much!!!!!!!