NF Imagine

~Part 19- Nate is Leaving Again?

*1 Week Later*

When I woke up I saw Nate packing clothes in his suitcase. I sat up and asked, "Nate, where are you going?" He sighed and stood up turning around to look at me sadly. He came over to the bed and sat down on the edge, saying, "I need to go back." I felt tears fill my eyes and asked, "Were you gonna leave without telling me?" He furrowed his eyebrows, "No, I was just packing and then I was gonna tell you." I asked, "When?" Nate immediately responded, "Right afterwards." I nodded and laid down again, sighing. Nate climbed over to me and held my hand. I slightly smiled at his gentle touch and pulled him down to me. I kissed him and Nate touched my face and kissed back with a smile.

~Later~

As the time came closer to Nate leaving, I fidgeted at the table and just felt time slip away. He stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me to the door and as we got closer, my eyes filled with tears. Nate turned around with a sad look on his face, and I hugged him. I whispered, "I love you." He pulled me tighter and whispered back, "I love you, too." Suddenly, Nate's name was called making us jump and he told me, "I have to go." I nodded and wiped away a tear that fell. He walked out the door and put the luggage in the truck, getting in the front and drove off with his manager.

When I closed the door, I felt my knees shaking again. I went over the couch and sat down. Sammy walked over to me and sat down too, letting me pet him. I kissed his head and giggled at him comforting me.

Soon, mom came in and asked, "Where's Nate?" I said, "He just left, he's going back on tour." Mom frowned and came over to me and hugged me. I started to feel the tears again and said, "I should get ready for school." I got up and ate breakfast, then went to my room to get dressed.

~My Room~

I brushed my hair and brushed my teeth thinking about Nate performing for his fans. I smiled at the image in my head, but then I pictured him taking photos with other girls and frowned at how he would smile with them and not me.

I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, but I can't help the feeling that he would see someone more beautiful than me. I can see her smiling at him, picturing having a life with him and he wouldn't even know. I missed him the second he left and couldn't stop myself from picturing him leaving me for someone else. I cried to myself, "I love you, Nate." And finished getting ready.

~At School~

I walked into the building and looked for my first class. I took one step and I bumped into somebody's chest. I looked up and saw Brandon smiling at me. I tried to smile back, but I was too tired to do anything I just wanted to stay home and curl up in my bed with Sammy and cry to him about all my worries. I wanted to do anything besides be here. I hugged Brandon and he hugged back, I breathed a sigh and relaxed. I pulled away and looked at him with genuine gratitude and I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to kiss him. I decided against it though, because I know he isn't my husband, Nate is. I thought, "Thank you God, for bringing Brandon into my life as a friend." I wanted to fall to my knees and praise God and cry to Him for blessing me. Instead, I whispered to myself, "Nate, forgive me." I smiled and saw Brandon smile back.

I started to walk to my class and shouted to him, "I will see you later!" I ran up the stairs and waited for my class.

~Home~ *In room*

I started doing my homework and I also turned on my music. I suddenly heard that Nate's song "Wake Up" came on and it started to make me feel overwhelmed with anxiety that my life still related to it it some way. I let myself fall to my hands and knees, breathing heavily, then I sat down and grabbed my shins, rocking back and forth. I tried to picture Nate next to me smoothly rubbing my back. I started to feel tears rolling down my face and soon I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I wanted to cry out for help, but I couldn't find my voice and it hurt too much to do anything other than let myself cry.

I tried to pray to God for help in my situation, to help me realize Nate is faithful to me and would never do anything to hurt me. Suddenly, my breathing was becoming steady and my tears were not flowing anymore. I had a feeling of relief and weight being lifted off of my shoulders. My anxiety was leaving my body and I no longer pictured Nate betraying me. I smiled and just laid on the floor calming down and closed my eyes letting myself fall asleep.