Story of My Life

5/19/12-College, Naked Cowboys, and Phantom

Today, I sat around and did nothing. Well, almost. The chorus trip to New York was today, and I didn't have enough money to go this year. Well, mom and dad said they would have found the money, but I don't want to burden them, with the monetary problems we're having. Speaking of Mom and Dad, they're both at work. Dad took the evening shift on the ambulance, and Mom is working nights at the hospital. Yesterday, it was the opposite. But no matter what, I'm still alone with Billy for hours on end. And nobody can come over, because they're all on the New York trip. I was texting Heidi earlier, when she said that they were going through New Jersey. You see, Heidi and I are huge fans of My Chemical Romance, and where are they playing tonight? Bamboozle. Where's that? In New Jersey. They're recording their new album in like a month, so this is the last we'll probably see of them until next year. So I texted her a picture of the poster and she cursed me. I was also texting Betsy. That girl, I swear to God. She's such a nut-job it's hilarious. When they got into the city, she texted me,

'Ahh the buildings r so tall the pigeons so gray and the taxis sooo yellow!!!!'

Heidi just texted me now, and I hate her. About an hour ago, I texted her, asking how the play went (the trip was to see The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway) and she just now texted me,

'It was cooooool. I went to the hard rock cafe and they had a signed LP guitar. I took pics' 

You see, I am also a huge fan of Linkin Park as well, so that just made me jealous as hell. At like 10, she told me she thought she saw an actor from Bones, ya know the TV show? Well she told me, and when I asked who, she said 'That ginger scientist dude' master of description, right there. She should work for the cops, she really should.

So I was bored as hell, and decided to make a twitter account. Fun. Sat there and stared at twitter for two hours, watching as Frank Iero and Nathan Adrian (two toootally different people) updated about pants and becoming an uncle. Wish I could've done something different. I feel trapped.

Trapped, as in there is a circle that people have made for me that I will never escape if I don't grow a set and speak my mind. Like my mom, for instance. We were talking about college again, because I'm at the end of my freshman year in HS, and that's just what you do, I guess. She wants me to be a Marine Biologist. Okay, what's the problem with that? Well, I've been pretending for the past few years that that's what I want to be. From 9 to 13, that's all I ever wanted to be. To work with animals, to stay close to the water that I cherish so deeply. But when I re-discovered writing, and started with photography and film making, I realized that since I'm such a wordy person, but I can't always describe things in life, why not take things as I saw them, and make them reality? But they won't hear it. I drop hints, and all they do is say that 'You'd be happier in Marine Biology' and 'Everyone and their dog has a degree in film/photography/literature.' They keep pushing me away from my dreams, and it makes me want to push back even harder. I'm just afraid that if I push back, they'll take everything from me.

And good Lord, talk about First Child Protectiveness Syndrome. No knives. Don't shoot squirrels with that bow or I'll shoot you. You should stay here and go to HAAC for your first few years of college. Why would you want to go to college out of state? Don't go down to the creek, you'll drown. Don't wander around the neighborhood, those druggies up the street might take an interest in you. 

Mom. I want to carry around a knife because I like weapons, and it's cool. Why not shoot squirrels? God knows there's enough of those damn things in this neighborhood. I don't want to stay here. The farthest I've been is the beach, and even then, I have eyes on me every second. And if you push me into this Marine Biology thing, why would I go to school for it in Pennsylvania? I'm not stupid, and I've been swimming competitively for the last 8 years of my life. Over half. I'm not going to drown. And those freaking druggies are too damn stoned all the time to walk straight, and they saw me with that knife when they had that stand-off with Dad last month, so if they come near me, they risk being killed.

I've gone through this, and people are always like 'Well, you should try and see it from her point of view.' I have, and I still think that all of that is ridiculous. I love my mom so much, but she can be just a tiny bit overbearing sometimes. Heidi just texted me! Hahaha!

H- I saw a cowboy dude only wearing underwear and he was playing a guitar.

Me- lol

H- It was scary

Me- How old was he?

H- Idk!

Me- How old did he look?

H- 30's maybe? Idk!

Me- That's weird. Are you on the way home?

H- Yes ma'am.

Me- Frank just tweeted that theyre taking the stage soon.

H- Nicee :) i'd love to see the boys again

Me- But yooouuu caaannnntt! Youre on a bus!

H- I knoooow lol

Since I was so bored earlier, before I started writing this, Ultimate Factories on NatGeo is on. By the end of tonight, I'll be able to throw one hell of a party. I will know how to make Heineken, Doritos, Coke, and Legos. So I can get party-goers drunk, and then pour Legos on the floor for them to step on! It's diabolical!!!! Mwahahahahhahaaaaa!

                                                                              I'm a dork.

I'll write more later, I guess. Sarah out!