Hopeless

Chapter Four; Quite Comfortable

After everyone left, Patrick and I sat and talked about our relationship

"I need you to know that I need to be handled with care. I'm fragile and will break at the drop of..... a fedora." I giggled

"Roqy, over the past three months, I've held you, cuddled you, sang to you, laid with you, dreamt of you, smiled because of you, laughed with you, cried with you, and every day, I fell more and more in love with you." He scooted close to me 

"How?" I felt a tear fall "Three months clean and I'm still a wreck." 

"Because you're a beautiful person. On the inside and out. I can be myself with you, I don't worry about anything when I'm with you. Just thinking of you makes me happy. Roquel Saphire Williams, I will do anything you need. You need me to shut up? Done. You need me to sing to you at three AM because you can't sleep, or you've had a bad dream? It may not sound so good, but it will be done. I'm in love with you and nothing you could ever say or do will change that."

"I love you so much." I hugged him

"And I, love you." He smiled

I just sat there, holding him. Realizing that in this very moment, I was falling even deeper in love with the very man I never thought would even know I existed. I had never quite felt love like this, it was new. He was new. I very much like new at this very moment.

"We should go to bed." He offered

"Yes." I yawned

We walked upstairs and got ready for bed

"You know what?" I smiled

"What?"

"You've never even seen me shirtless." I giggled

"I respect you. Even though you don't care, I still respect you." He walked up to me, gently placing his hands on my waist

"And I appreciate that." I smiled and put my arms on his shoulders, grabbing my hands behind his neck

"Can I dance with you?" He smiled  "Like, a real dance."

"I'll get the pole." 

"No!" He laughed and turned on Faithfully by Journey 

"I love this song" I smiled

"I know." He smiled back, pulling me close 

We began to slow dance and I felt at peace. For the very first time in my life, I wasn't scared..Of anything. 

"I'm forever yours, faithfully." He sang to me

I giggled and grasped his shirt in my hands, pulling him as close as humanly possible 

"I love you, my warrior."

"I love you, too, Pattycakes." I smiled and felt my heart beat faster than I've ever heard it beat before. I had butterflies in my stomach that I hadn't felt since my first kiss. Being in his arms reminded me of that flying feeling you get after kissing your crush. That feeling of driving for the first time, the fright that you'll make a mistake, but not caring because you're too excited. I was nervous as if I had never met him before, even though I knew everything about him.

I pulled back, resting my forehead on his, smiling with my eyes closed, swaying to the beat in my head. The rhythm of love was flowing through me, and I was dancing with the one and only man I ever want to be with. I gently kissed him, feeling as if I was floating on a cloud. I felt butterflies in my stomach, my brain was all fogged up except for one thing. I couldn't think of anyone, or anything, other than Patrick. I never wanted this one moment to end. Every kiss feels like our first, like I'll never get bored of the feeling of his lips resting against mine. Our hearts beating to the same rhythm, our breathing in sync. The feeling of pure bliss, like nothing will ever be anything like this. 

I giggled into the kiss, feeling a tear stream down my face. 

"I never want to lose you." He pulled away, wiping away my tears, then kissing my cheeks "And I never want to see you add another one of these." He picked up my left arm, running his fingers over my scars

"You won't ever, I promise." 

"Good." He kissed my wrist then kissed me, pulling me into a hug.

I began to sob and he rested his hand on the back of my head as I rested my head on his shoulder 

"I've got troubled thoughts, and the self-esteem to match. What a catch." He sang to me, gently swaying us from the left to the right, holding me.

I could feel his breath against my neck, sending chills down my spine. His voice gave me the courage I've never had. The courage that I can do this. The courage that I'll be alright.

"I never want you to let go." I smiled, no longer crying

"Then I never will. I'll always be here to hold you when you need it." He stroked my hair

I pulled away and looked into his eyes, staring at him staring at me. "We need to sleep." 

Patrick nodded, "I suppose."

I laid down, no sooner than me pulling the blankets over myself, I felt Patrick lay beside me, pulling me close.

"Goodnight." He yawned "I love you."

"I love you." I rolled over to face him, curling up to him, feeling his embrace. His warm, sweet, loving embrace. "Goodnight." I got out before drifting asleep.