"Are you freaking kidding me?" I asked, looking at the place in front of me.
"Nope. This is no joke." I glare at the three boys in front of me, thinking of ways to kill them and where to hide their bodies so they can never be found.
"You brought me to Tech Town." It's not a question.
"Yup." They smile.
"May I ask why?"
"No you mayn't." I raise my brows.
"Since when are you an English expert?"
"Since I became your friend." That was his reply.
"So back to the matter at hand. Why am I here?" I ask once again.
"It is because you are in dire need of a cell phone." Cody answers.
I snort." Please, if I wanted a phone, I would have gotten one."
"Ugh, you are making it impossible to cheer you up." Cody complains.
"I don't care." I reply, shrugging.
"Are you always this difficult?" Theo asks.
I smirk." It depends."
"On what?"
"On my mood." I answer the boy. School's probably over by now.
"See you tomorrow, my aunt's probably waiting." I lie.
Before waiting for their response, I turn around and leave.
When I get home, I grab a key from my bag and open the front door, then I walk inside and shut the door. Yeah, so I lied, they don't need to know everything that happens. No one does.
I walk upstairs, immediately lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Sighing, I stand up and move to my desk drawer. Then I carry a box of cigarettes, sticking it in my mouth before lighting it and taking a drag.
"Just another stressful day in hell." I mutter to myself.
Some people drink or take drugs when they're stressed or depressed, but I'd rather smoke, sure its not the best but I prefer smoking because when people drink, they get drunk, feel good for a while but then suffer a hangover. When they try drugs, they get high and either end up crazy, arrested or dead. But when you smoke, none of that happens, even when your breath smells like smoke, you can take a mint.
The doorbell rang and I quickly crushed the cigarette and threw it out the window. Popping a breath mint in my mouth, I rush down the stairs and open the door, shocked when I see my aunt.
"Julia? I thought you had a night shift." I say in confusion.
"Yeah, but I got a call at school that you had detention and skipped." She gives me a pointed look, crossing her arms under her chest.
I flinch,"Yeah, I figured he'd tell you, it was only a matter of time." I scratch the back of my head.
"Wanna explain?" She asks.
"Hard pass." I turn around, hoping to escape.
"Hold it." I freeze, exhaling deeply.
"Why?" I face her again.
"Why can't you talk to me? I mean, I know I'm not the best mother figure but I'm trying," tears are falling." I- am I not good enough? Am I really that bad? I don't get it."
"You know, when you were little, you were always so cheerful, so happy. Even when your parents argued you used to try to bring them back together. I've seen how when you tell them it's going to be okay, they cheer up, even when they know its not, they somehow kept going. They kept on going, for your sake. They loved you so much, I love you, so where is that little girl? Where did she go? Where's the girl who believed unicorns existed, the one who- the one who always made everyone feel better just by being in their presence, the girl who believed in happy endings, where is that girl?" I stare at her as she cries, wondering where all that came from, or if it's always been there.
Wondering if things would have been different if my parents were still alive. Wondering if I would have still been the same me I am today, or if I would have had a life where I didn't smoke. All that wondering, the what if's, they all would have the same answer. Yes. Yes, everything would have been different. Sure my parents did argue, hell, they were almost getting a divorce but they stayed together, they did it for me because they loved me and I loved them. They stayed and tried to fix it and I will always be grateful for that. But the day they died, I knew a piece of me died with them, and that will never change because they are gone for good.
"She died when her parents did." I relpy. As I leave the room, I hear her crying, even when I close the door I can hear her.
I could just go back and apologize. I could tell her that its not her fault. I could comfort her. I could fix everything right now. But I didn't. I didn't do it. I just took out a whole box of cigarettes and left the house.
I light a cigarette as I walk on the road, not knowing where I'm headed. I later found myself on a bench at a park. My cigarette burned out so I took out another one and lit it as I stared at the pond in front of me.
A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, started.
"Hey." I look up at the familiar face.
"Jesus Christ, are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?" I ask, placing my left hand on my chest in an attempt to slow down my heart.
"I never really took you for a smoker." He says while staring at the cigarette in my hand.
"Yeah well there's a lot of things you don't know about me. You know, 'cause we literally just met this morning." I take a slow drag out of it as I close my eyes.
"Not gonna lie, what you just did was hot." He chuckles and I chuckle too.
"Shut up River." I shiver, regretting not carrying a jacket.
"Are you cold?"
"No, I shiver when I'm hot." I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
He shrugs off his jacket and hands it to me. I gladly put it on without hesitation.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked him.
"Nah, I'm fine." He waves it off.
"Have you ever felt like dying?" I blurted.
He looks taken back at my question.
"Like, you feel like dying because your loved ones are dead." I continue, playing with my fingers.
"No." He answers.
We sit there in silence, just staring at the pond until I fell asleep.
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
It's not great but whatever.
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