Mess

09

"Mitch." Someone whispered.

It's been 2 weeks since Scott ran off. Guilt has been eating me alive, literally. I haven't been able to eat and I've been sick to my stomach constantly. I can't keep anything down. I'm worrying myself sick, but I don't know what to do. I figured he'd be back by a few days, but after a week, I began to worry. I've been watching the news a lot lately and a few days, someone by the description of 'a tall blonde male with blue eyes and a strong build,' was murdered and I immediately thought it was Scott. Ever since I heard that on the news, I've been really, really sick. I couldn't even take care of fucking Summer and I couldn't ever go to work. I couldn't keep anything down and even if I didn't eat anything, I was still fucking sick. I felt guiltier than I've ever felt in my life. I felt like I chased Scott away. I've been so stressed and upset lately, that I haven't been able to read. I missed him. I've been missing him since he left, but I miss him now more than ever, because Summer is starting to be affected by him not being here. 

Summer's not refusing to do anything and she's not being a brat. She's just not energetic like she usually is. She's kind of lost the energy to play or do anything other than stare at the TV, only to think about him and if he was alright. I know I've been doing that a lot too. My energy seems zapped out of me. I feel so drained. I just want Scott to come back. I want him to come back to Summer, Jake, Avi, and I. I need someone to help. Jake and Avi have been amazing. Jake has been taking care of me since he found out I was sick and Avi has been watching over Summer while I get better. I just miss Scott. I know if he comes back, Summer and I will both get better. Maybe not immediately, but I know him leaving has caused a lot of this. I'm so fucking worried about him. They haven't disclosed the name of that dead guy and I'm so scared I'm gonna find out it's actually Scott.

I looked over and found Jake standing there in the doorway. He had water in his right hand and crackers in his left. He's been making me drink fluids all the time and has me eat crackers, even though I can't keep them down. I think we're both hoping that maybe somehow I will. I know he is, which is why he's so insistent on me eating them. If this goes on any longer, I'm gonna have to go to the hospital. This has been going on for a week. I know I'm gonna have to go to the hospital if I don't get better, so I'm trying, but it's just not working. I can't keep anything down at all and I know that's contributing to me not having any energy.

"Hey Mitch." Jake smiled at me, sitting on the bed and checking my forehead. "Did you get any sleep?"

"No." I shook my head. "I can't sleep Jake."

"I know you can't honey." He sighed, putting my water and crackers on the nightstand. "I could kill Scott for the way he's making you and Summer. I can't believe he's been gone this long."

"Jakey." I whispered, clutching on his arm. "What if he's dead? What if Scott died?"

"Now why would you say something like that Mitchy?" He asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I saw on the news last week. Someone tall, blonde male with blue eyes and a muscular build was murdered Jakey." I said, letting out a sob. "What if that's Scotty, Jakey? What if that's him?"

"It's not Mitch." He said, tracing my forehead with his thumb. "I promise you , it's not him." 

I could see the worry and doubt in Jake's eyes.

"What if he's dead? It would be all my fault!" I cried, clutching on to Jake's arm tightly.

"No Mitchy! This would not be your fault! Scott ran, not you!" He exclaimed, looking at me seriously. "This is not your fault Mitch. I promise you Mitch and if you keep thinking that it is, the guilt is gonna kill you. The guilt is already making you sick. I think we're gonna have to go to the hospital."