Addictive (Mark & Koeun)

Dilemma

It was two o'clock in the morning but Mark still couldn't sleep despite knowing he needed a rest. He kept tossing and turning in his bed, even kicking his light brown duvet cover that wrapped around his body off to the floor at some point. Complaining how hot the room was.

"This is ridiculous!"

No matter what he did, he just can't close his eyes. Every time he tried, his head began to replaying the same thing again and again. That scene when he leaned down to kiss the girl in front of him that afternoon. Her pretty face flashed through his mind as he bite his lower lips, the taste of her sweetness still lingered there, unconsciously imagine her pink lips.

"Fuck it, Mark!"

He reached a pillow under his head, and pressed it on his face while shaking his head hard enough underneath it to stop himself from replaying the same image.

"Stop imagine it!" He growled and swear to himself.

Had enough with this restless night, Mark abruptly sat up scratching his brunette hair in frustration. After a good minute of torturing his own head, Mark start to staring into space. He did this a lot when he's under stress and anxiety got him too much. Every time he want to blocking his mind from one painful emotions.

Mark didn't said the kiss itself was a painful memory for him, but the consequence afterwards. To be honest he love that moment when he can touched Koeun's soft lips with his. When he played her hair in his finger, smelling her scent.

Call him a jerk, but he wanted to do it again.

He didn't know what to feel.

Should he be happy, guilty or what?

He has so many mixed emotion right now.

Tired, Mark just sighed and laid his body down again, now staring at the ceiling.

If only Koeun is his girlfriend. "Did you really want her to be one?"

He start talking to himself.

If only he's not with Arin right now. "Wooa! Stop there young man!"

Mad at his own inner conflict.

If only he use his brain properly, he wouldn't be in this fucked up situation. "Yeah, you should!"

It went on like that for maybe half an hour before he's trying to reached out his phone on a nightstand. But the device wasn't there. He looked up as he thought he put it there as usual before bed. Then his gaze found it currently lying in the middle of the room, causing him internally groan, he must have accidentally kicked it.

Mark reluctantly get out of bed to grab that thing.

He got so many missed call from Arin, several message also from the same girl and a hundred unnecessary messages from his basketball team's group chat. Mark ignored it, certain it's filled with useless things anyway.

Mark chose to read messages from his girlfriend, one by one. The messages showed how worried and confused the girl was to Mark. After he got home that afternoon, he kept calling the girl, but then turn the phone off when he heard Arin's voice. Even declined Arin's offer to met at Saturday's night since he didn't had enough courage to face her after what he done.

Arin keep asking was there something wrong because he acted so weird and this make him felt horribly guilty.

Mark conflicted, part of him want to apologize to her, be honest and tell her that he kiss another girl.