A million roses (A OHSHC characters x MysticStone character fanfic)

Recovery

Kat's P.O.V.
I stared at the floor of my new therapist's office as she wrote down everything I said. Edward had made me sign up. I knew it was for my own well being and the concern of my loved ones, but I couldn't help but feel as if she was judging me and interrogating me. Nevertheless, I answered all of her questions as best and patiently as I could. "How do these past events make you feel?" She asked me. Well seeing as I had a panic attack when my boyfriend touched me, obviously not good. Ugh, she's totally judging me. I thought to myself but answered truthfully and patiently. "Paranoid. I turn my head every five minutes to make sure no ones after me..." I said softly. I heard her pen move as she wrote down my words. "How long has it been since your little episode? Have you returned to Ouran?" "Three days, I'm too afraid to return." To be truthful, I hadn't even talked to anyone. Tamaki had called me many times, I'd never answered. Chiyoko texted me more than once to which I never responded. The only way I knew anyone was alright was because of Edward who forced me to talk to him. I didn't see why it mattered if I was there anymore. I was broken, used goods. No one should desire to be my friend or anything else at this point. I couldn't even manage to pick up my phone and text back my best friend or my worried to death boyfriend. "Kathryn?" I jumped back to my surroundings. "Yes?" I answered, finally looking up. The therapist frowned and pushed her glasses up her thin nose. "I asked you a question and you didn't respond," "S-sorry..." "What were you thinking of?" "Nothing," I lied. She frowned, but didn't interrogate me, instead she repeated her question I hadn't heard. "Are you aware of the fact that many of the people close to you are worried sick?" I nodded. "Then why do you keep them on edge?" She asked. I shrugged. "Because... I'll terrify my boyfriend again, they'll all look at me like I'm helpless. Maybe sometimes I am, but I don't want them to know that... I want to be able to go back to when Tamaki was able to wrap his arms around my waist and kiss my cheek and I didn't flash back to the terror of being slung to the ground as I begged for my virtue..." I felt the tears start to well up. I sniffed and wiped my nose. "Hm... well if you refuse to go to school, at least start to ease yourself back into a social setting. Let Tamaki come over and see you're alright, go to a movie with Chiyoko, do something with them to ease their worry. Believe it or not, Mr. Suoh is also one of my clients. He suffers with anxiety... it's only gotten worse since you've disappeared without a word. He comes into sessions and just sinks down into a panicked ball. I shouldn't tell you these things seeing as it's supposed to be confidential, but I'm only telling you because it's part of your case and he allowed me to," she explained. I stared at the floor guiltily. "I'll try to better it..." I promised. This was one of my only genuine promises. "Alright... unless you have anything else, that wraps up our session for today," she said, standing up to go open the door. I shook my head and stood up, thanking her softly and quickly walking out. As soon as I reached he waiting y'all, I gulped and walked faster as I saw other clients staring at me. I made it to the safe confinement of my car. I let myself relax for a minute before I stared at the digits on my screen. All I had to do was type in the numbers. I took a deep breath and dialed the number. 'Please answer...' I begged in me mind. "Hello?" He has answered... he really answered. I stayed silent, I didn't know what to say. I sniffed and tears began to stream down my face. "I-I'm sorry..." I stammered weakly. "P-princess? Is that you?" "Y-yeah" I choked out. "Oh my god thank god you're okay," I could hear the relief and smile in his voice. "I'm so sorry I didn't call... I-I just couldn't-" "it's okay, I know you're struggling right now..." he said. I took a deep breath. "But you are too..." I paused, biting my lip. "I-I... I want to see you." I could hear his excitement. "O-okay, when? Anything but school hours and I'm there- scratch that, anytime!" He said. I smiled weakly. "Tonight? I'm driving home right now, you could meet me there and we can watch movies or something," I said, telling myself mentally that I wouldn't panic. "Okay, I'll see you there!" He said. I grinned. "See you you there," I said and hung up.
As soon as I got home, I saw him, standing at the door, waiting for me with flowers. I smiled and climbed out of the car. I slowly walked towards him, blocking out uneasy thoughts and flashbacks. He smiled and met me in the middle. I could see him restrain himself from hugging or kissing me, it made me feel so guilty. He had to refrain from showing me affection because I couldn't bear to be touched. He smiled at me and handed me the flowers. "I'm so glad to finally see you again," he said. I smiled and held out my arms to hug him, repeating over and over in my head that I was alright. He grinned and dove into the hug. For a second, I panicked, but the relief of seeing the boy I loved overwhelmed it. I held him as tight as I could, wishing I could stay like this forever with him, but the panic was easing its way back in. I wriggled from his grip and kept the longing for him at ease by grabbing his hand. His eyes stayed on me, unsure. I just stayed smiling and led him inside.
I achieved a lot that night, I held hands with Tamaki almost the whole time and he kissed my cheek a few times with no problems at all. We didn't try anything but that seeing as it was only the first time, but it brought a lot of relief to me. "I should head home... when are you coming back to Ouran, Princess? I miss you," he asked, pleading in his voice. I shrugged. "I'm not sure yet... why don't you stay over?" I said out of nowhere, even shocking myself. He stared at me. "Princess... I don't think you're ready for that, even if that event hadn't happe-" he tried to say, but I quickly interrupted. "No, I think I'm ready. I have to start somewhere, why not now? Plus I really don't want to be alone," I pleaded. He stood there uneasily, but finally gave in. I smiled. "You can borrow some of Edward's clothes tomorrow if you need to," I explained as I led him up to my room.

I laid there sleeplessly. I could hear Tamaki's quiet breaths, they made my heart beat faster with paranoia. I tried to shake it off, but it just wouldn't go away. I couldn't keep the incident out of my head. I was back in that terrible house again... I could feel him. Fingers in my hair again, his painfully tight grip on my waist, my back seemed to ache as if he'd hurled me to the ground again. I shuddered at the thought. I reminded myself that he couldn't hurt me, he was dead. I couldn't stand this feeling... this constant awareness that anyone was touching me. I felt awful... I just longed to be cuddled without crying and screaming for them to get off. I couldn't take it anymore, Kathryn Cullen was not a weakling. I reached out and found Tamaki's arms and wrapped them around myself, pulling him close enough that I could feel the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. For once, it wasn't terrifying. I smiled a little and made myself sleep before I was able to freak out. Maybe... just maybe I had started my recovery.