lights on || s.m.

FOUR

Shawn's POV

I wait patiently but nervously for Rebecca at a cafe we agreed to meet at. I fiddle with my fingers under the table, and flex my wrists from time to time.

I only do that when I'm extremely nervous.

I usually get extremely nervous when I'm around someone I like.

I check the time and she should be here in around two minutes, so I look at the reflection in the window and I comb my hair through it making sure I don't look weird.

This wasn't a date. Just a meet up. Besides, she clearly wasn't interested. She liked Justin.

Still.

I figured I'd be here before the time because it's appropriate to be here before the girl arrives? I read it somewhere online, and I believe that it's one of the basic steps of being a gentleman.

A noise comes from the entrance of the cafe, and I see Rebecca stride in nervously, searching the crowd of people for me. I wave my hand over to her, and as soon as she sees me her face brightens up.

She hustles on over to me, and slides into the booth next to me. She kept her distance though.

"Hey, gorgeous." I smile with my teeth. She really was though, and she seriously had no idea.

"Hey, clumsy. Was I late or something?" She says, as she scoots closer to me.

"No, I just like being a little extra early." I smile. Rebecca frowns.

"Then I'll be a little extra earlier next time." She raises her eyebrows at me. I raise mine back.

"I highly doubt that."

Rebecca laughs. "That's true, actually. I tend to have time management problems."

The waiter comes and hands us our menus, and we spend time trying to choose what to eat.

"Have you ever been to this cafe?" She asks me. I nod.

"I usually come here to study. Being a senior is not easy."

"I could imagine. Still got a year left though." Rebecca's eyes crinkle as she hopefully looks at me.

We order our food and the waiter comes with it in around 5 minutes or so, since it was only drinks and a pastry in the end.

"So you're new this year? We barely get any new seniors. Like at all." Rebecca takes a sip from her chocolate drink.

"Yeah. Last minute arrangement. I didn't know we were gonna move here, so I guess this is where we settled. Although for university I'm going to travel somewhere elsewhere, of course." I explain. Rebecca nods her head slowly.

"It's nice to see guys like you focusing on their future, it gives me hope too. Sometimes people tell me I have plenty of time but in reality it really isn't that much."

"Yeah, you'll never know how much time you'll have."

We eat in silence for the next minute, and it doesn't seem like an awkward silence at all. Rebecca chews happily, and I catch a few glimpses of her from time to time.

"So I heard you like Justin." I say and stop immediately .

That did not mean to come out of my mouth.

Rebecca looks at me and slowly narrows her eyes. She drops her fork.

"Where'd you hear that?" She says coldly.

"I don't know, I think the guys were talking about it or something." I lie. Rebecca nods her head slowly and sighs.

"I mean, it's alright. I'm not judging or anything. I-

"Then why'd you ask?" Rebecca interrupts me. I wipe the back of my neck in frustration, and avoid her eyes.

"Just out of curiosity, I guess."

Rebecca still has her eyes narrowed at me.

"I mean also I don't think Justin is a great guy to still like you know? I just mean he isn't that worth i-

"You don't know what I want." Rebecca tells me slowly. I breath out a shaky breath. I really didn't mean to bring out this topic of conversation.

Yet I still mentioned it.

"Alright. Yeah, I don't. Sorry about that, I was honestly just curious." I tell her and let my hand drop to my lap in surrender.

She nods and continues eating her food. I wasn't that hungry at all. I watched her eat as she didn't seem to notice, and the silence that was now between us was awkward and was made out of certain tension.

"Alright, it's getting a little late and I should probably start heading back to catch my bus." Rebecca tells me as she simultaneously checks the time on her phone. I nod slowly, and try to push away the bummed feeling I have now growing inside of me.

"Okay." I say quietly, and she looks at me questionably. She starts packing her stuff and is about to leave, and I stop her.

"Wait," I jump up suddenly. She looks at me again. "I didn't mean to upset you, I was really just curious about it. I wont ask you about it again." I lower my head in shame. She looks at me softly and her tension eases off.

"I'm over it. It's just a triggering topic, that's all. You know, after what happened and stuff. A lot of stuff happened before that too, just so you know. But I promise I'm not mad anymore, I just got a little tense that's all."

I suddenly release a relieved feeling that's been hiding in the back of my body for a while. I breathe out, and she turns to leave.

"Wait!" I stop her again. She turns around curiously and comes over to me. I get up slowly, and search her face and think of something to say. I suddenly see a little trickle of chocolate on the side of her mouth from her drink, and I slowly reach out my hand to wipe it off for her. She touches her face cautiously, and I start to speak.

"Alright, well I'll see you tomorrow I guess." I smile at her, and turn to leave. She nods at me and I see that she still touches her face from the spot where I wiped the chocolate off. I chuckle to myself quietly, and head for home.