"Put the pan down Rupunzel."
he said sarcastically, as I kept my grip on it tight, eyeing the stranger who was casually lounging on my couch, not even bothering to look up from the episode of Orange is the New black he was currently indulging in.
"W...
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(On with the chapter!)
I began to laugh. Not even in a cute, girly chuckle way, but in a snorting, wheezing choking sort. I mean, who the hell names their child Two? I sat there just imagining the process. "What shall we name our sweet, sweet baby boy dear?" "Billy or Joe- NO I GOT IT... Two!"
Practically sent the kid wedgies in a present box. My laughter still didn't cease, until I spotted the way Two was glaring at me.
"What's so funny?" He growled out, glaring me down.
"Nothing."
He nodded his head at me. "Good. Better not be." He threatened, trying to intimidate me. I may have been scared a few moments ago, but a guy with the name the worth of my two fingers surely has nothing on me.
"Who do you think you are! You come into my house trying to order me around? " I said, channeling my inner POC while feeling myself.
That's right, peasants. I got class and sass. I am a strong, independent black woman who doesn't take any-
"Keep it down in there you young imbeciles!" My neighbor Beatrice yelled through the walls, interrupting my inner monologue.
"Calm your saggy tits Beatrice, I've had it up to here with your comments!" I screamed back.
"What?" I asked blankly.
"Nothing..."
We sat there engaged in that awkward silence where you're both thinking of something to say, but your minds are blank as paper. Finally, Two decided to speak up. "I'll be crashing in your room tonight." I blinked up at him.
"What, you mean you're not gonna offer to take the couch and then I'd be all like 'no please take my room!'... I don't think you get ho--"
"Nope." two interrupted, popping the p.
"Oh, its fine, it's just that most guys try to take the cou--"
"Nope." He said once again, repeating his actions as he walked to my room.
"Well okay! Good night cool-" I didn't get to finish my sentence because of him slamming the door on me. "Roomie." I finished to myself. This truly was the start of an awesome week.
***
The loud ringing of my alarm awoke me, causing me to throw my phone across the room as I cursed. I groaned at the thought of having to spend another day in the world and out of my covers as I stumbled off the couch. I threw on sweatpants and a sweater stained with Cheeto dust as I walked to the kitchen. Instantly, the smell of bacon wafted into my nose, causing me to subconsciously lick the air whilst following the smell.
