The Tattoo Affair || [Ambw]

Chp 12.2

CJ: "What's up Shan?"

I play around with my straw.

Me: "Well.....I'm a little concerned about SungJae.."

CJ takes a sip of his smoothie, raising an eyebrow.

CJ: "What's goin on?"

I take a deep breath.

Me: "Well last night, he opened up to me about your lives growing up. He was really scared to tell me. But I'm really glad he did. I'm there for him regardless. I'm not the type to judge people."

CJ nods.

CJ: "I respect that. Yeah, I had a talk with him. You know. Just bro talk. He's really serious about you Shan. So I told him he should probably open up to you about that soon. I didn't want you finding out some other way. You're a sweet girl and I can tell you genuinely love my brother. He was stressin hard about it. That boy ain't scared of shit..but he is scared of losing you."

I take a sip from my smoothie.

Me: "Well I told him he doesn't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere CJ. But what kind of worries me is...I can tell he hasn't really grieved. He seems to be keeping it all in still. Last night when he told me, he had a lot of drinks first. After he told me, I could tell he was hurt...but he started laughing like nothing happened. And I'm just scared because I don't want to lose him. It's not good to keep things bottled up inside. He told me about you guys father, And I don't want that to happen to him..."

CJ gets quiet and starts rubbing his chin. He finally speaks.

CJ: "Shan, do you mind if we go outside? I need a smoke.."

I nod my head, we grab our smoothies and walk out. We walk to my car and I sit on the hood. CJ stands next to me, somewhat leaning on the car. He pulls out his pack of cigarettes and takes one out and lights it.

CJ: "SungJae won't make the same choice. Plus he really loves you. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you Shan. I've noticed since opening his own shop and especially since being with you, he's more happy. But you're right, he's never really grieved our parents death. He became real angry after that. I think he still blames himself and I honestly don't think he'll let it out until he gets legit closure. I used to blame myself too. I was gone a lot around that time. I had got my own place, and I started working for my uncle. So I wasn't at home as much. I used to beat myself up. If I was at home more, I could've protected mom and dad would still be here too. I kept shit bottled up too. But when it hit me, it hit me hard! I'm the type of person that likes to grieve alone. Me being the oldest, I always had to be the strong one. I ain't gonna lie though, I'm still angry Shan. The man that murdered our mom got caught but he's only serving 6 years and 5 months in prison."

My eyes almost popped out my head.

Me: "CJ! 6 years and 5 months?!" He nods his head.

CJ: "That's how Korea is sis. People can pay their way out of anything. Which is why many of us take matters into our own hands. His time's almost up though.." he mumbles the last part.

Me: "Why do you seem so calm?"

He's not a regular type of calm. But it's like a scary calm.

He drops his cigarette and steps on it. He runs his fingers through his hair.

CJ: "Yeaaaah...I'll talk to Jae about that one. I'll stop by later."

I furrow my eyebrows but nod my head.

CJ: "Shan, you don't have family or anything here besides us?"