Updates+Rants And Straight Up Nerd Rage!

Update...

Okay guys. I try not to post about things like this but it's become a big problem i want to talk about because it will keep me from updating other books. To put it simply, I'm cracking. For the past three to two weeks there has been nothing but mental hell for me. I've felt like the worst screw up ever. Fights have happened, I had to do something I didn't want to do but I had to. I had to get rid of a friend.... It triggered memories from another friend I met two years ago that I also had to leave and it brought back memories of my closest friend goldenshadowgirl1987 who left Wattpad last year and... It hurt when she left... i haven't heard from her in months and the last time I did i had no time to talk to her... These past few weeks have made me feel like nothing but shit, I feel like I've done something wrong and today I finally broke. During recess I went into lockdown mode and scared my friend and my girlfriend. (Yes i have a girlfriend now, her name is Bailey and I love her to death.) I cracked and was shaking uncontrollably. I had to call my mother just to calm down, which I did even though I ended up crying three times. I just wish i could forget everything and go back to the way i was. Until then i feel like I've been hurt, torn apart, and then stitched back together. I just feel like its my fault. It gave me an anxiety attack near the end of the school day... The person I'm trying to avoid is in the same first class as me everyday and it kinda shakes me. And as i said before I couldn't stop shaking until after I called my mom.

If one of the people I mentioned about today reads this, understand I'm not mad at you or upset with you, I just finally snapped and couldn't stop it... for those of you who did read this all the way through because you cared, thank you for understanding I might need some time before I update anything. Until then, rock the house all you beautiful fanboys and fangirls!💓