Creek Blues (Jalsey)

2. Burns

***Trigger warning for mentions of self harm scars and a cigarette burns scene.***

Start the song. It's Willow Tree by Chad VanGaalen.

The pills didn't work. It was as simple as that. They made Josh feel sick and overwhelmed and suicidal. His doctor kept messing with his dosage too, which wasn't helping the situation. His daddy just kept giving him more and more cigarettes to compensate.

It was hard for Josh to hold his cigarette in his right hand with the cast that encased it. The two boys who always messed with him had broken it a few days ago, and they'd only gotten more angry when he didn't shed a single tear. It had hurt like hell, but he'd never show it.

Josh sat out front of the middle school, waiting for his dad to come pick him up. He was pretty sure that his dad had forgotten about him. School had ended over an hour ago.

After twelve years of having a cop for a dad, though, he'd learned to accept that sometimes his dad was late for things and couldn't help it. He didn't mind anymore. Having some time alone was kind of nice. He didn't have to focus so hard on acting like he was supposed to.

As if God Himself had smacked that idea down, someone sat down next to Josh. It wasn't the worst thing though because it was just Ashley. The kids at school didn't like her very much either. They made fun of her messy hair, quiet voice, and the way her ribs stuck out no matter how baggy she wore her clothes.

"Hey," she said quietly, letting her messy curls fall in front of her face.

She smelled like cigarettes, just like Josh always did. There was no real reason for them to be friends, but there wasn't really one for them not to either. Still, Josh was pretty sure they'd just become accustomed to existing within the same space. Without needing to be asked, he handed her his cigarette.

"Hey," he said just as quietly.

"Your dad isn't here yet?" She asked quietly before taking a long drag off the cigarette.

She'd gotten used to the burn much more quickly than Josh had, seeming to actually like it. Josh hated cigarettes in general.

"Obviously," Josh replied.

A blush flooded Ashley's cheeks at the blunt response, and she smiled down at her dirty sneakers. The toe of her shoe prodded at the small pile of cigarettes at their feet distractedly. They'd been doing this all year.

"Right," she said shyly as she handed the cigarette back to him.

Josh smoked the last of it regretfully, watching Ashley take her backpack off and dig through it. She pulled out a package of poptarts, ripping it open and handing one to Josh as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it with his heel. They were cherry, just like always. Neither of them said a word for a while as they ate, occasionally looking up hopefully when a car came down the road.

"Josh?" Ashley asked, her freckled cheeks pink again. He looked at her instead of speaking, making her blush darken. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I guess," Josh replied before taking another bite of his poptart.

"You can't laugh at me. I'm asking you because you're the only person I can ask," she explained.

Josh rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna ask me or not?"

Ashley sighed before nodding. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "Do you think I'm pretty?"