the wild child

Okay?

I walk back over to her house. The long terribly annoying walk it is. I walk in the door and she's sitting on the couch. I lean in her ear,"I wanna talk about this. But it's a little odd if my roommate is passed out next to you when it happens." Her voiced sounded hallow, " Yea, Okay." We got in her car and drove for about thirty minutes. Thirty whole minutes in silence. What had happened to the party animal I first met?
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It's time that I tell him I want a relationship but I'm not good at commitments. I think it's time I start to feel again. I've been numb for the past eight years. I need to feel something besides sadness and regret. Well anyway, that would be the true reason I'm adopted. Over this summer I think I have felt a little bit more. But it's still not the same. I need to tell somebody. I need to get help and be loved. It's possible that Aiden could be that person to me. I carefully pull the car to a stop and try to think about what I'll say.
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We get to the destined place. The leaving town sign. She never said where we were going but somehow I knew anyway. I break the silence," Look, Dez do you regret it?" She looks up at me without raising her head completely, " You shouldn't ever regret anything, it was exactly what you wanted at one time. Aiden, I have something to tell you. And I'm only telling you this because I feel like I can trust you. Not even my best friend knows." She looks serious and burdened. I've never seen her with such an intense gaze. I've never heard her voice filled with such a booming depression.
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"Aiden the reason I'm adopted is a long story okay? And until right at this second, I haven't told anyone. Realistically my adoptive parents know, but that's all."

"" I was only 10 years old. And my mom was a person who had many girls. Kinda like an orphanage but I was hers. The only one who was hers

She would yell things at me. Things like, "your a worthless little slut! You shouldn't be alive! I have 85 kids to feed you should be cooking!"

This specific time she cut me off before i could ask where the pepper was. I would always be apologizing. Because me a ten year-old girl had so much control over these things? Of course.

And there was this man she was constantly sleeping with and he sorta lived there too she forced all of us to call him daddy. It was disgusting and is the reason I'll never call any man daddy. Swear to God I'll slap the fuck outta you if you ask, don't try me.

Anyway this man, and I dont know his real name. He would constantly yell at me. Ask me why I was pissing off his wife all the time. I should've been making her life easier, but there I was making her life a living hell.

And I had answered him that night, " I'm sorry daddy, I needed to know where the pepper is."

And almost instantly my mom responded, "okay I will show you where the pepper is!"

She grabbed me by my hair and told the guy to wait in the basement. She seemed like she calmed down a lot. So I thought everything was okay. A little confused on why she pulled me into the basement and my scalp was hurting but I figured it would be okay. She was always a little intense. Constantly causing me physical pain, I really thought it was normal.

She put me in the tub and washed my hair and then took me out and put makeup on me. And then she put me in a pretty blue dress. And she brought me to the basement. She shoved me in a room alone with the man he was on a bed with no shirt on.

My moms said to him that he knew the drill.
Then he picked me up. I had no idea what was coming to me.

The man, Daddy complemented me. He told me I looked very pretty. And I sheepishly responded thankyou, it was weird but I didnt know how else to react.

He put me down on that bed and forced his lips me. He took off his jeans. And in short, to save you from the gory details. He raped me. He raped me.

After he was done he told me that I was a good fuck. Better than the other orphans. It was so strange. I still didn't know it was wrong, I mean it hurt, I was only ten. He was a grown man, but I knew I didn't want it. I didn't even know what fucking was. I just figured it was a form of punishment. I don't know. I knew what it was called, the orphans talked about it as rape. I didnt know it was a bad thing though.

I walking on the street and this lady was talking about rape. And not thinking rape was bad, "I have been raped!" She ask to follow me home and talk to my parents I said, "okay." She was on the phone talking to someone about what I had said. And then child services came along and got me out. And I've been fucked up ever since, and I swear if you treat me like a victim I'll really set you straight.
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I pull her into a massive hug, "I wasn't there to help you then. But It's okay I'm here now." I wiped the tears from her face. I'm not entirely sure why she told me this but she did. And despite the topic, I'm just happy she opened up. "Aiden," she mumbles," I want to be in a relationship with you. But I'm afraid. And I dont know how." I breathe deeply, "Look Dez, it's okay. I know you deserve so much more than me but I will try to be worthy if being your boyfriend. And I want to be with you too. It would be an honor to grow with you and have you as mine. Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked. She smiled and spoke, "After what I just told you and you accepting it how could i not? You're the best Aiden."