don't wanna drag you down // kleinsen soulmate au ((ON HIATUS))

c notes

"i'm sorry, i was scared- no."
evan bit his lip, trying again.
"i-i was so scared to talk to you because i have anxiety and it makes it kinda hard to talk and you would probably know that already and i honestly can't apologize that well- no. no?"
evan sighs for the third or fourth time that night, finally giving up and turning to the cheap blue plastic ukulele on his bed.
he starts to absentmindedly strum, first a c chord, then an e7, then an f, and a g, and he realizes he hasn't played "build me up, buttercup" in years.
it was the first song he ever learned, to impress jared, after he started drums. jared had stopped playing a long time ago, though. for ev, it had been about six years total.
six years of bloody fingers, before he got a pick.
six years of melodies.
six years of worrying about the time he dropped it and the neck broke.
six years full of important battles, inside and out.
six years of having rather strange feelings for jared, even though they both have soulmates and this can't happen.
so he studies, so he tries, so he sings, so he cries, so he sleeps, so is everything he's known.
one word, hansen. one measly word, that's all.
one.
hi?

three words.

i'm sorry.