Breakable

- haunted -

i don't care anymore,
but that doesn't mean
you don't affect me.
i've tried to ignore it
but I can't hold back
the panic that rises within me
or the feeling of being trapped
that i wish i could ignore.
it doesn't change that when i look at you
i feel your hands like a ghost gripping mine
and hear your laughter ringing in my ears.
if i'm honest,
it makes me feel sick.

i've moved on,
but you're still haunting me.
when i struggle to meet his eyes
and fear getting close to someone again,
even though i want it more than anything.
when i shut down, and close myself off,
because i'd rather not get hurt.
when i'm so scared,
even when i probably shouldn't be,
because i can't let go,
can't let myself relax,
in case i open up,
only to be torn down.
again.