Allen & Xiao

Farewell my dear!

Deception..

Disgrace..

Evil as plain as the scar on his back!

Deception (An outrage!)

Disgrace (For shame!)

He asked for trouble the moment he came!

Born in grief..

Raised in hate...

Helpless to defy his fate..

Let him run!

Let him live!

But do not forget what we cannot forgive!

And he is not one of us..

He has never been one of us...

He is not part of us..

Not our kind...

"Why do they hate me?" I found myself pondering that question quite a lot.. "put it down Xiao.. Now" go away Allen..

"If he was really your friend.. He wouldn't have gotten you addicted to this unhealthy habit!" I know Ollie isn't my friend.. Why do you have to keep rubbing it in Allen?!

"I'm just trying to help" that's always the excuse isn't it Allen?! Pretending to care when if reality you couldn't give two shits about me!

"Why won't you just let me help you?!" Because it isn't real.. You don't care, your just like them! Its all lies..

To be honest I never thought it'd happen..

I never thought I'd ever use opioids of all things to try to end my miserable existence..

I didn't think anybody cared..

My Allies don't give two shits about me..

Japan, Kuro.. The brother I try so desperately to impress doesn't give two shits about me..

Zhu, Yao, Chun they don't give two shits about me.. And could you blame them? I treat them horribly! Especially Zhu.. I destroyed her heart.

But you.. Why don't you ever take a hint? Why don't you leave me alone? Why do you insist on caring about me?! You sat by my bedside in tears. You called me an idiot and you gave me a hug. The hug was a painful affair.. I didn't have the strength to hug you back.. I didn't have the strength to even speak. You were my only visitor and well.. You wouldn't let me go.. When it was time for visitors to leave you took a moment to move but in that small meaningful moment all you managed to say through those wasteful tears was "I don't want to lose you.. Please understand that I.. I Love you" those words raced through my head countlessly. Its not something you'd ever say Allen.. Its not something I deserve to be told.

Why would he love me?

Thanks too you, I couldn't sleep.. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was you trying to pry my sweet escape from me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw how much you loved me..

I saw how much I ignored your feelings...

Parting with my destructive addiction was a painful experience.. It was like executing a beloved concubine! even through the misery of removing something I held so dear to my heart.. Hurt like a fucking bitch...

I can now look at your face and finally say "I love you"