BTS || Texts 💬 Scenarios 💭

9 💬

When you foul mouth a certain cousin or relative who visits your house

BTS members as your elder brother

(Assuming Shoko to be a Japanese cousin of yours)

Namjoon 💬

Namjoon: ohmygod
You: I KNOW RIGHT
Namjoon: why the fuck even?!
You: PLEASE LET'S KICK THEM OUT
Namjoon: please tell me they'll not stay the night
You: MUM SAYS YES
Namjoon: wait there are four kids
Namjoon: ...
You: DON'T TELL ME
Namjoon: Well I have zero intentions of sharing my bed with you, but I am sure they'll push them in one of our rooms.
You: OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Namjoon: God I hate them creeps
You: WHAT IF THEY TOUCH OUR STUFF
Namjoon: shit fuck I have to hide my magazines
You: OPPA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU

-

Seokjin 💬

You: EW OPPA THEY ARE HERE
You: where are you save me
Seokjin: endure them for a while I'm still shopping
You: for what?
Seokjin: what will I cook you dumbass?!
You: ew I don't want them to eat what amazing stuff you make
Seokjin: neither do I
Seokjin: and aww
You: wait. I got an idea.
Seokjin: what?
You: cook (any food you don't like) and then add lots of salt in it. I'll say I added salt by mistake instead of (some spice name)
Seokjin: BINGO
You: they'll probably not stay at night if we give them bad food
Seokjin: my dongseng is a genius
You: 😎

-

Yoongi 💬

Yoongi: wtf is that noise down there
You: they are here 😥
Yoongi: who
You: Shoko and her family
Yoongi: WHAT.
You: 😥
Yoongi: I hate her Korean omg
You: everything Korean word ever with a "deska?" 😥
Yoongi: throw them out
You: yeah sure oppa 😑
Yoongi: well do something about it other than texting me!
You: YOU, ARE OF NO USE
Yoongi: yeah sure
Yoongi: at least I got swag
You: *facepalm*

-

Hoseok 💬

You: get me out of here
You: these idiots are eating my fucking head
Hoseok: you should love thy neighbor
You: which they are not they are our fucking relatives
Hoseok: so we shouldn't love them
You: yes.
Hoseok: will two water guns be enough?
You: WHAT are you oppa? A two year old?!
Hoseok: should I call Taehyung then?
You: AHH YES he'll be enough to scare them off!!!
Hoseok: calling right away

-

Jimin 💬

Jimin: I am NOT getting out of my room
You: pls I can't ward them off alone ew
Jimin: you, my strong and responsible dongseng, are enough to safeguard our family honor
You: they are a part of the family you are talking about too
Jimin: Oh holy crap
You: you mean royal crap. Aunt's about to start singing SAVE MEEEE
Jimin: have a good afterlife bye

-

Taehyung 💬

Taehyung: Commander, report the situation at the dinner table, out
You: Commander to officer, the coast isn't clear. The target pigs and baby elephant are still at feast. Mum and dad unsafe. Code red. Out.
Taehyung: WHY the fuck am I an officer?
You: Commander to officer, your message was unclear report back now, out
Taehyung: I ain't playing this game I don't want be a dumb officer! Call me Major or general or something!
You: Activate code red NOW evacuate fast, target baby elephant attacking your door starting countdown in 5
Taehyung: omg
You: 4
Taehyung: where should I go?!?!!!!!
You: evacuate to my room NOW in 3
Taehyung: SHIT WAIT
You: 2
Taehyung: SECURED, LOCATION SECURED
You: Well done officer. Your last location was seized. Destruction potential 98%. Only time will tell the result. Over and out.
Taehyung: YOU FUCKING GET YOUR ASS TO YOUR ROOM. NOW.

-

Jungkook 💬

Jungkook: get my Nintendo out NOW
You: what why?
Jungkook: the little Japanese monster is here!
You: heh
You: OH SHOKO?!?!
You: oh my God my books!!!
Jungkook: Oh the "ew boring" and then tearing up
You: SHE FUCKING TORE MY CALC BOOK LAST TIME
Jungkook: save my Nintendo I can't afford another ;-;
You: on it
Jungkook: I love you so much you deserve a hug for the first time in your life
Jungkook: you gonna get it when I get home today my dongseng be honored!
You: pls don't.

-

Dang. I am out of ideas now. I'll just continue the road trip scenario I guess lalalalala

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