'Her'...he didn't recognize the title of this draft at first, but when he remembered he laughed a little on the inside. A sarcastic kind of laugh, the one that emanates from a recess of hope lost, reminiscences of a time that seemed too far away, dreams shattered, love lost...or at least he THOUGHT it was love. It sparked him suddenly, just a small spark...the type of spark that seems too small to light anything but instead it ignites a ball of raging fire...a fire that had long died out for lack of fuel. It sparked him suddenly and instantly his fingers got to work, tapping away at the keyboard as his mind retreated to that place in memory and transferred what he dug up to the creative section to pen about 'Her'
'I can work with this, a bit off from the pictures...obviously, but workable and that height...mmh for some reason I feel like lifting her up in my arms as she puts her legs around me, kiss the hell out of her ,tell her friend to fuck off and proceed to rip her clothes off and go inside her in all manner of ways right there on that dirt road....okay no that's too dirty I think that patch of grass beside the road will do better. Damn and that ass I want to feel every inch of that ass rub against me as she takes every inch of me in' It was all he could think about first time they met on that cold night, not that it was surprising given his sexual mind. He studied her, the way she her lips moved as she talked, the way her body moved as she walked was it rhythmical, was it plain? The curves on her face was she pretty, beautiful, sexy, or just...there? 'Dammit stop overthinking and just go with the flow you've only just met her.' The words that left her mouth that were a testament to her intellect or lack thereof was it something he could relate to, the way she pronounced those words did it perhaps suggest that she was not of the more 'exposed' crowd or was she just...there? She talks a lot...good, but is it the kind of talk he liked or was it going to eventually gnaw at him?
As he smiled casually at her and her friend as they walked and maintained small talk a million more of such was going on in his head. He couldn't help it really, his mind was always a buzz, and he was constantly analysing things, most of all people. In a heightened state of mixed emotional intensity as was the custom whenever he met someone new, his mind was working overtime. He could read, however, that she liked him and she was partly not afraid to show it, whether she knew it or not, and this is what pushed him over the edge to make the decision to push on with what he had been trying to do with months of texting. He felt strangely free with her, just a tad though, but even this was not common with him when he met new people especially women. He felt maybe, just maybe, he might have struck some strange valuable mineral with this one.
As he walked them back to their place he reached for her hand and they held hands for a while before she suddenly threw his away 'Ah usinishike mkono naskia kama nashika dame mwingine ukona mkono soft...' He stopped just as suddenly, as a surge of anger and a 'WTF' type of emotion swept through him. He hated it when his masculinity was brought into question for no apparent reason and without merit for that matter. He contemplated his choices and was just about to say fuck this and turn back but he stopped himself, laughed it off and went after her he knew it was just a play to not seem too interested. It had been a premonition of just how much his mind was going to get worked up in the few months to come.
He laughs when he remembers how he had planned this post to be one donned with the love he had for her and the realism of how he felt about her, what he thought she felt about him, his fears, his hopes for her and their relationship. He remembers how he had planned to don this post with pictures of her that he thought to be the best things to ever reign his gallery and pictures of them that he was always constantly going back to look at when they were away from each other...but now he might as well leave it blank.
That was the first of his regular visits to their place as he courted her, every visit to him was one he took to reassure himself that this might be a good thing for him. He had a tendency to sabotage the good things in his life, he told himself at times that a relationship was not something he wanted now. At times his fuckboy mentality would nudge him to fuck her hard and move on or initiate a situationship if a friends with benefits would be impossible. However he couldn't help but want her more and more every time they met, they would talk for hours about nothing or everything. He enjoyed it and to be honest it was something he could get used to for the long haul he thought. The first time they wrapped each others tongues around each other and groped every inch of each other...the first time he took off her clothes and her his...the first time he gazed at her imperfect body and took it in his arms...the first time she asked him if he had a condom and watched him put it on...the first time he slid into her slowly feeling every inch of her and her him as they groped and kissed passionately...the first time he thrust into her as he felt his skin rub against hers igniting senses of emotion he had long forgotten...the first time he lifted her legs to pound deeper into her...the first time, as he thrust, he saw her scowl her face in an expression he couldn't quite explain but spoke volumes 'Give it to me hard!'...the first time he saw this face he knew it was something he wanted to experience not just once. He knew it was a face he wanted made to him and only him. She would be his.
