sunshine under your ribs

forgiveness

My forgiveness came,

In the form of grateful strangers and my mother's warm embrace,

Incomplete, it wasn't the same,

The thing I craved the most was a lost case,

utter and total absolution,

But it would only happen if I forgave myself,

No, I could never, would never reach that solution,

For absolute mercy only comes from oneself,

And I won't give it,

I am not worthy of being sane again,

I have been bit,

By a murderous fever, that has taken many men,

So my forgiveness will never come,

I will never grace myself with it,

Its a rule of thumb,

I live by it.