He Depends on You || Porter Robinson

Part One

Porter Robinson doesn't like pickles. Or shellfish, or mustard (except for the cheap yellow kind), or cotton balls for that matter.

I know this because it's my job to know it. I have worked as part of Porter Robinson's touring management team for almost 3 and a half years now. And I am the one who is in charge of Porter's touring rider, amongst other things. But I also know this because Porter is my best friend. We both come from the oh so lovely town of Chapel Hill, North Carolina and I have known him for coming up on 15 years.

I was there when Porter's brother, Nick, first brought home that game of Dance Dance Revolution that ignited his love for electronic music (I also consistently beat him for a solid six months, but he would never tell you about that). I was there when he hit number one on Beatport and was catapulted into the world of EDM. I was right next to him when Sonny Moore first called. And I was there when he made the difficult but exciting decision to postpone college and go on tour with Tiesto instead. I was there way before the beginning and I am still here today. It hasn't always been easy, but it has always been worth it. Because Porter means more to me than I can put into words.

I have always been told that I tend to put Porter before myself, and here I go again, telling you about him before I even properly introduce myself. I'm working on it.

My name is Kate O'Reilly. I am 25 years old and like I mentioned before, I'm from Chapel Hill, North Carolina. I have a relatively normal background; my dad works for a large company that requires a lot of travel, but he always returned with the best stories and even better chocolate (I have a thing for chocolate, but then again, who doesn't?). My mom is a stay-at-home mom and is the complete backbone of our family. Both my mom and dad provided my sister and I with a wonderful childhood. My sister, Brigid, is my rock and the only person who might know me better than Porter does.

I have always been the introvert while Brigid was the extrovert of the family. But I honestly didn't mind. She thrived in the spotlight while I froze when there were too many eyes on me. I preferred to escape into imaginary worlds. Growing up, I would tell my family stories about mysterious lands with even more peculiar creatures. I would constantly be lost in daydreams and often times had trouble concentrating in class as a child. I usually operated with only a few close friends as opposed to a large group.

However, that all changed in 6th grade when the typical growing pains of childhood started to rear up. It felt like everyone was now torn between childhood fantasies and the real-life temptations brought on by the opposite sex and the social hierarchy of the lunch room. And suddenly, no one wanted to hear about my made-up worlds or my theories on why Luna chose Usagi to become Sailor Moon. Suddenly I was left friendless and with the new label of "that weird girl." And I know, I know, you can hold the eye roll...this all sounds pretty cringe worthy and "woe is me," but its truly how I felt at the time. So I retreated further into myself.

So there I was, sitting alone during lunch with headphones in. Strawberry blonde hair hidden by a hood, glasses constantly slipping down my nose, and pale Irish skin making it seem like I never see the light of day. I was taller than most girls at that age so I was hunched over reading the newest Harry Potter book. Perfectly content with the sound of Linkin Park in my ears and Ron Weasley on my mind.

Enter, Porter Robinson.

"Hey." I heard a voice say from across the table. My eyes shot up and I was immediately faced with a shaggy-haired, brown-eyed boy. I knew who this boy was. This was Porter Robinson. Not that I have ever had any sort of social interaction with him, but our school was small enough and we had all been together for so long that you start to know everyone by name. I nervously looked around, unsure that this boy was actually talking to me, and pulled out my headphones.

"Hi?" I responded quietly. Immediately on guard. Porter quickly glanced over his shoulder and my eyes followed. A couple tables down there was a group of boys all staring in our direction and snickering amongst themselves. One of them motioned to Porter to continue his conversation with me. I felt a pit in my stomach form. I was all too familiar with this situation. A handful of times, people would join in on my one-woman lunch party as a dare from one of their friends. As if I don't know the purpose was to make fun of me.

"So...Harry Potter, eh?" Porter said nodding towards my open book.

"Yeah..." I said looking down and waiting for him to bring on the punch-line. Porter smiled awkwardly and bit his lip. I could feel my face turning red.

"So you're into like...magical dudes?" He asked. Here we go, I thought to myself.

"I mean, I just like the story." I said quickly. My cheeks burning and my eyes glued to my hands. Internally begging my pale skin to get its shit together and return to a normal human shade. Porter shifted in his seat and I could tell he was looking over his shoulder at his friends again. I was waiting for the crude or sexual joke that boys that age liked to make. So I lifted my head up and matched his gaze. Willing him to just get it over with. As I looked him in the eye, he opened his mouth to say something but then stopped. Then, to my surprise, he smiled softly at me.

"You know those glasses make you look like a bug." He blurted out. My heart sank and my gaze dropped back to my hands.

"Oh, I mean- shit. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. They just look really big." He blurted out. As if that would make me feel better. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Look, I like them okay? I like your eyes. They're uh, green and awesome" He was scrambling now. I felt like everyone was staring and I could feel the eyes of the table of boys behind us and could hear their laughter getting louder and louder. I could feel my palms sweating and all I wanted to do was exit the situation.

"I have to go." I said and stood up, abruptly closing my book and shoving my headphones into the pocket of my jeans. Porter's eyes widened and I could tell he was struggling to come up with something to say. Part of me was understanding, I know how peer pressure works, I'm sure he was goaded into having a conversation with me and saying no was worse than facing the ridicule of his friends. But the other part of me just wished people would leave me alone.

"Oh...okay." Porter stammered and stood up as well.

I avoided his eye contact and bolted out of the cafeteria as quickly as I could without drawing more attention to myself. I could feel his eyes on my back the entire way. I know it might not seem like a big deal, but when you're 12 and becoming painfully aware of your awkward body, Porter's comment hurt. I blinked tears out of my eyes as I made my way towards my safe haven, the library.

So I guess you could say Porter Robinson and I didn't get off on the best foot. But let me tell you, this is just the very beginning...