Phoenix Fire: From Witin the Flames

Our Porcelain Masks

Chapter 19
"Our Porcelain Masks"

Adrian carried me on his back as the evening sun begins to set, I'm too weak to even move let alone walk, still completely grief stricken. Dried tears cling to my face, my eyes open but not seeing as I stare blankly at the horizon. Everyone is disturbed and upset by the sudden death of Charlotte, but I've taken it pretty hard, she had been so afraid back in Warner's fort, so afraid of the outside world, of being free; I wanted to show her that the world isn't that scary, that being free was a good thing. I wanted to show her so many things, teach her so many things but now... she's gone, just like that, her life ended. Her screams still filled my ears and churned in my heart, I just wish that there was something I could do; but I know no matter how hard or how many times I wish... she'll never come back. She's gone... forever.

Fresh tears fill my eyes as my grip tightened on Adrian's deep dark green T-shirt, we'd changed clothes while at Caroline's house since Warner's put a 'bounty' on our heads so now I was wearing a dark purple long draped sleeved shirt and dark blue denim jeans with black combat boots (which we 'permanently borrowed' from Warner's military uniform), Adrian was wearing a deep green short sleeved T-shirt, dark dusty brown pants and his black combat boots.

Adrian stopped, looking over his shoulder to me "Kara?" he murmured softly as tears slowly trickle from my eyes and quite whimpers tremble through my lips. I bury my face into his shoulder as I sob softly into his shoulder

"Charlotte..." I whimper as I close my eyes, tears spilling down my cheeks. Why Charlotte? Why was Charlotte taken? She was the second youngest! She should have lived longer, much longer that just 13. I'd promised to protect her and I failed, just like I do with most everything.

"Let's set up camp here" at the sound of Adrian's voice I flick open my eyes. Adrian's eyes flick to my empty ones "Kara..." he murmured softly as my eyes brim with tears as he sets me down; but he kneels in front of me and cups my face in his warms hands

"Kara." he says softly "Kara, please. Please, come back to us." It felt... strange. I felt numb, but feel a terrible pain stinging my heart, as if being constricted in a coil of bitter rope. "Kara," a soft voice, his voice, whispers, lightly shaking my shoulders "please. Come back to me" my eyes unseeing until I blink away salted tears, my eyes seeing his of darling green.

"Adrian?" I murmur softly, feeling lost and confused "Where... where are we?" I look around; it's like a graveyard, a graveyard of trees. Dead, black gnarled trees stand from the hard dry earth; they probably died long ago when the earth became dried and hard and the landscape became a wasteland. I still wonder why the rain had stopped, why Mother Nature wouldn't cry as much as she used to, why had she abandoned us? Was it because of our greed? Or Warner's greed?

"We're almost at the place," Jamie says, looking over the poor, gnawed trees "It shouldn't be more than two to three days" he says pointing in the direction of the setting sun, as if guiding us to our safe haven.

Adrian climbs to his feet "I'll go search for some fire wood" he mutters, maybe he had a fight with Jamie again? His eyes overshadowed by his fringe hiding his true emotions beneath a cracked and damaged porcelain mask, oh how I wanted to pry that mask away from his face, from off his beautiful face, I wanted to see his real face knowing his real emotions, real face would be so much more beautiful than his dirtied fractured porcelain mask.

I quickly climb to my feet as he starts to walk away, I grab his wrist as I wobble on unstable legs "I'll go with you" I say with a soft smile, feeling the porcelain mask that had been so tightly connected to my face fracture and pieces crumble, he was slowly helping my porcelain mask break away from my face, it was only fair that I help him.

As we walked I picked up fallen twiggy branches but Adrian didn't seem interested in gathering fire wood. "Hey," I murmur softly, dropping my collection of twigs, jogging to Adrian's side and lightly touch his shoulder "are you..." I gasp as he grabs my wrist and twists it behind my back; I gasp a yelp of pain.

"Just leave us alone!" he growls, tightening his grip and twisting my arms harder, I let out a pained cry, struggling against him I was sure my arm would break...

"Adrian! It's me, Kara! Let go... you're hurting me!" I whimper, tears brim my eyes as he suddenly releases my arm with a worried gasp. I jerk my hand to my chest and rub my wrist and shoulder, tears trickle down my cheeks as whimpers tremble on my lips.

"I'm sorry," Adrian murmurs shock filling his voice, "I'm so sorry, I... I didn't. I'm sorry..." I hear the regret in his voice and the sorrow. My body trembles with shock as I drop to my knees, He... attacked me? I look up over my shoulder to him, his back turned to me with tears in my eyes.

My heart pounding in my chest as I looked at the red mark on my wrist, staggering to my feet I turn to Adrian who was walking away. "I'm sorry, I thought... Warner had... and he'd..." I could feel his frustration and pained, worried heart "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... I..." tears well in my eyes, he was tearing himself up!

"Adrian" I say in a soft voice, but he does not hear "Adrian." I say softly again, he's muttering to himself, apologizing over and over again, he's not supposed to be like this, he's never like this, I'm the one with the mental illness, not him

"Adrian shut up! Just shut up! Please. Stop it!" I cry, tears screaking my cheeks as I rush to him, throwing myself at him, hugging his back, "Please... stop" I grip his shirt, pull myself back and turn him to face me. And I see it, his own porcelain mask, with all its fractures and faults. I cuddle into his chest, my free hand snaking up to his face.

I touch his cheek, my fingers trailing along the edges of his jaw, my nails hooking under the edges of his 'mask'. "What are you doing?" his voice a soft murmur in my ear as I tighten my hold on his shirt. Tears threaten to continue to spill from my eyes, I have to fight against my whimpers to speak to him

"I... I have to, help you... remove your mask." I whisper and I feel his confusion. "You've been masking your true emotions from everyone haven't you? In order to find me? So Warner wouldn't know the truth?" I press head into his chest more, feeling his warmth, knowing he was really here and that this was all real, we were finally free.

"But it's okay now... I... I don't care. You don't need to hide behind that mask anymore. I... I love you, Adrian, I really do. We've sacrificed everything. I mean, let's face it Warner's marked us as basically criminals, we've got nothing else to lose but each other; and I'd rather die than lose you." Tears wet my cheeks, Adrian stiffens "So please... help me, help you. Let me take off that mask..." but his gentle touch on my cheek stops my words from leaving my mouth.

"What about you? Don't you have a mask too? All those years you spent hiding yourself from everyone? Don't you have a mask too? Isn't it bothersome? Will you let me help you remove your mask?" he strokes my cheeks, his fingers, trailing along my jaw line. My cream-white mask cracks with his touch, his mask loosens as I pry its edges... they both tumble to the ground, shattering into the earth turning into glittering dust. Adrian lifts my chin, looking into my eyes

"This is why I love you Kara." He smiles kindly "And I'll show you just how much..." our lips collide and I'm in heaven, but feel as though I should be locked in hell for such a sinful kiss. Adrian pulls back sooner than I hoped, smiling a smile that was filled with joy,

"Kara," he says softly "I... wanted to ask you something quite, important. But I could never find the right... time." I blink in slight confusion which only makes him smirk cheekily, reaching into his pants pocket, dropping to one knee, my eyes widen as I gasp, my hands flinging up to my mouth as I see a small box in his hands

"Kara Summers," he says as tear well in my eyes "would you do me the honour of..." he opened the small box "of becoming my wife?" my eyes are frozen on the silver banded ring, a glistening ruby within two diamonds, simply but elegantly beautiful. I feel my heart pound hard against my chest, my tear brimmed eyes flicking to Adrian's as I begin nodding uncontrollably before flinging myself onto him crying

"Yes! Of course! Yes you idiot!" I laugh with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks, I sniff, pulling back as Adrian slips the ring around my finger, my body trembling with sheer joy. Something suddenly clicks in my head I look Adrian in the eye "But... I didn't think marriage was still allowed?"

"It isn't" he murmurs "but we're breaking all the rules anyway. What's a few more?" he says with a cheeky smile. I smile back before kissing him.