Deal With It - Sidemen Fanfiction

Chapter 6 - Staying Afloat

J•O•S•H
"You know, you don't have to follow me out of the room every time I need the toilet?" I called over my shoulder for the third time in one day. Simon had slipped out of the closing kitchen door behind me and hovered a few stairs below me as I stopped and turned to face him.

It had been a week since the video and a week since I last collapsed. I wasn't dizzy or disoriented; Simon was just caring too much about me. His face wore its usual thoughtful frown, his eyebrows resting lightly on the creases above his eyes.

"I'm just looking out for you," he replied softly with a sheepish half-smile. I returned down the stairs and stood one up from him, only slightly taller, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I appreciate it," I told him earnestly, "But it's my turn to look after all of you now that I'm better. I'm the oldest Si; I feel responsible for all of you." His smile widened a little and he nodded happily. He turned and jogged back down the stairs and burst into the kitchen, surprising the other four boys in there.

"Dad's back!" he called, slapping Vikk on the back as he tried to drink. I laughed to myself and set off for the toilet again, only to be met by another distraction - JJ.

"Alright, Josh?" he greeted, leaving his room and shutting the door behind him. There was a distrustful mildness to his eyes and he wore an expression so close to the Jide I thought I knew that it physically hurt to act coldly towards him. Can't give in to his manipulation. He's unpredictable.

"JJ," I nodded tersely and tried to pass him unsuccessfully. His light hand on my arm was still enough to cause me to flinch but I stayed fixed in place and finally met his searching eyes. He looks so trustable but I can't.

"Can I have a word?" he asked calmly and, without waiting for an answer, guided me into his bedroom and pointed at the sofa, indicating that I should take a seat. Reluctantly I perched on the arm of the chair, close by to the door and ready to flee. Just in case.

"So, how are the boys doing?" he inquired politely, a sense of formality leaching into his words. I bit back the urge to scoff in his face.

"Well Harry, Ethan and Tobi probably want to go home at some point," I answered sarcastically, referring to how we were all effectively under house arrest, "And, you know, Simon won't leave me alone in case I collapse and fall down the stairs so I'd say the boys are fine." Something that looked like a flicker of amusement lit up his face for a brief moment but he continued talking, refusing to acknowledge my potential step too far.

"And you?"

"Better," I replied shortly, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? After everything you told me, I just thought-" I decided to cut him off mid-sentence despite my track record of getting hurt when I tried to interrupt him.

"Maybe you should stop just thinking and stay out of my private life," I bit back with a surge of anger, "And if you asked everyone else how they were maybe they wouldn't look so constantly terrified around you." Jide seemed to accept what I was saying fairly but still looked troubled.

"I haven't even hurt them. You're the only one who will talk to me and you're the only one I have physically attacked," he argued confusedly. I rolled my eyes at my hands, clenching them together periodically.

"Just because I'm the one with visible bruises, doesn't mean I'm the only one in pain." I thought back to the times in the last week that people had been in each other's company just to avoid the bone-crushing silence of isolation. JJ took his time to process my reply again before changing the subject promptly; his usual, harsh tone returning.