Filled With Pain - NEW&IMPROVED

Chapter 7 - If This Isn't Love....

Filled With Pain 7

God sent me an angel from above

That's gonna love me for life

Might as well be perfect only because

It's the only way I can describe, so

If this isn't love, tell me what it is

'Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy

If this isn't love, tell me what it is

'Cause I never felt like this baby

If this isn't love

I strolled down the stairs and watched as my Dad sat there in the kitchen with his phone in his hand. He looked the epitome of stressed. I didn’t blame him of course, a lot of things were going on with him, with his wife, my mom going A.W.O.L for the past 2 days. The house had been....certainly quiet without her around.

I sat down beside him and pulled his phone out of his hand before sighing. His screen was on pictures of both him and my mom together. There was some from their wedding day and others from days out. This is when I knew what he was looking so stressed about, handing him back his phone I hugged him slightly.

“Daddy...just call her. Call her and make it right...” I encouraged as he pressed down on the call button. He nodded in thanks and waited. Almost immediately my mom answered, it was obvious that she had been waiting on the call but they were both too too scared to make the first step. A smile was what he wore on his face as they began to converse.

I felt like my job was done and made a quick trip into the pantry grabbing something to eat, before making my way back upstairs to my room to be met by Cheyenne who was packing away her stuff, I threw her a packet of cookies and she thanked me.

“When does your flight leave?”

“In around 4 hours.” I nodded and sat at my vanity table looking down at my phone. I felt as if I had traded places with my father and I was now the one feeling stressed. It was my entire fault, maybe if I had just stayed at home last night and not gone out to the club then I wouldn’t have aggravated Wesley and he wouldn’t have had to hurt Jules so badly. But then again, if I had stayed at home I wouldn’t have been able to have met Jules. I was in a confusing situation.

“What’s wrong Ray?”

“I’m really tempted to call Wesley.” I announced almost feeling ashamed of myself as soon as the words left my mouth. It was unfortunately the truth as hard as it was for me to admit. Before the party I and Wesley used to text, speak on the phone, face time or even see each other in person 5 times out of the 7 days in a week. Even if he wasn’t coming to see me, I would still see him when he came to visit Ramel. It was something that I had lived with and around for over 10 years and I just couldn’t live without it. My hand swayed from dialling his number it just felt like it had to be done.

“Don’t you dare! Now I am honestly becoming sick of this, everyone apart from Ramel knows that you love this boy and that you would do anything for him. Unfortunately only you know why. You deserve so much better than him! Wesley is a jerk and don’t tell me you are so blinded by love that you fail to see that!” I began to nod slowly, it was the truth he was a jerk but I just couldn’t help it...and I still failed to understand why that was. “I’m sick of everyone having to tell you that you deserve better and until you notice that yourself I want nothing to do with it!” With that she grabbed her bag leaving the room.

“Chey! Please don’t leave I need you!” I pleaded tears running freely down my face. “I need my big cousin.”

“No love, you don’t need me. What you do need however is a reality check with a spot of Jesus!” Cheyenne said as she left the room. I couldn’t help but laugh slightly, it would be Cheyenne to say something like that in a situation like this, but I knew and understood that she meant and wanted the best for me.