i'm forced to deal with what i feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real ; i could pull the steering wheel
—
10 and a half years
that's the approximate time frame he's dealt with prolonged psychotic depression;
it's how long he's had to cope with the loss of not only his parents, but brother, who might as well had been considered his full time caregiver.
and exactly how extensive it'd become since he authentically has felt the now foreign enjoyment of life ;
or happiness, in general, if we're being completely honest.
but, it now being a week from the impromptu events that occurred last wednesday, finn could honestly confirm he's never in the past almost 11 years, felt this blissful.
sure, caleb and gaten have made him happy over the brief six years they've been acquainted, and finn cherishes the two boys possibly more than they're aware of ;
but alas, the pale boy couldn't compete against the lighthearted feeling and warmth he inhabited when around the short haired beauty he'd become attached to in an almost unbelievable short amount of time.
you would think, with all the endless heartache and pain he's had to deal with alone, he'd be unable to love or accept anyone or their genuine concern to help aid him in emotional healing ;
and at one point, that's exactly the way things were.
but slowly, somewhere along the way this past week, millie had worked her way into the inner crevices of his damaged heart.
and contrary to his hardships, and despite his very short lived hesitance, he let her.
and somehow, he'd also let her convince him driving nowhere on rainy days were pleasant.
"isn't it beautiful," millie cooed, as she took a millisecond to peer over finn's window.
finn gently raised his hand, pressing it against the gelid plexi glass. "what do you mean?"
a majority of the time, when someone would ask what you meant, they never really listened or cared to have you explain.
but finn, he loved learning new things concerning millie and her view on certain individual topics ; he found her to be such a complexed girl, and he was completely infatuated.
"well," she paused to purse her lips, which finn was aware of it meaning she was in deep thought.
"when the rain falls on a window, the colors of the outside become blurred,"
finn watched in fondness, completely captivated by the way her lips would move, and how her hands articulated her point every so often, passionate about her metaphor.
the boy couldn't help but admire the way she stood behind what she believed in, behind what she loved, even if she was the only one ;
