Her

Part Seven:

Memories flash in my mind over and over, new ones, adding themselves to the ones I just started to get back. Happiness, despair, anger, anxiety... it all shows in streaking ways through these scenarios that must've happened to me sometime in Before.

I can place a few names, a few of my best friends, Emma I think, another named Gabby, and another. Wasn't her name Kara?  

"I can't help it! I just hate Trump!" a girl with shoulder length blonde hair is talking almost angrily towards the group. Gabby sits across from me, Emma next to me, and a few girls that I can't remember. A Vietnamese with long dark hair next to Gabby, the blonde Trump-hater next to her, then another girl with bangs and long brown hair. Next to Emma was a guy, who was also in our little group, with blonde short hair.  I remember feeling so jubilant, happy that I fit in and was surrounded by these amazing people."That doesn't mean you have to get disrespectful!" Emma shouted back. I looked uncomfortably at Gabby and the girl next to her.

Was it Ash? Ugh. I remember Emma getting up, leaving the lunch table after the continued fight, but by the end of the day, they had made up and we were all like crammed peas in a pod again, but comfortable in our little worlds. Gosh, I had loved them.

Other memories are not so grand. Fist fighting with a rude redhead boy. Getting in trouble with the parents I can't see in the memories.

Memories of being different. Being made fun of. Crying in the shower, or in the school bathroom on the floor with Kara.

One remembrance specifically terrifies me. It feels like I am watching a movie, but I can't force myself to wake up. I have seen this boy before, but I don't know where.

"And the best part is... no one is around to even hear you or see you." The boy harshly said, spitting into my face. "You are different. Scum. Filth." he dragged his blade up my throat, not quite scratching it, pointing my chin up towards his face,"You won't live this down, vermin." 

My heart beat increases rapidly, but I can't prepare myself to fight or run. He slams me up against the brick wall behind me, my face scraping up against the rough material. I try to look down the alleyway into downtown, but cars just keep passing and nobody is just happening to look our way.

 His knife scratches the surface of my skin on my shoulder blade and he curses at me. A shuddered gasp of pain leapts out of my mouth as the cold pierce of his blade dig into the supposed mark on my back. I scream, but he cruelly laughs, kicking me to the ground and stabbing me in the thigh.

No ....no.... I refuse to watch this part. I am going to die right now. I burn all over. The image forcefully plays in my mind anyways.

"S.....sto...stop.." I gasp, but he leans so close to me that I can see straight into his gray, bleak eyes, cold and desolate, his dark hair falling in front to partially shield them. Never breaking eye contact, he plunges his blade into my torso, swirling around and leaving the alleyway, the knife ripped out of my torso with a flick of his wrist. Everything goes dark.

Another treacherous memory flashed of people chasing me, with torn up faces, dark scary figures that are in most nightmares. I want it to end. Just a spiral of sudden recollections of all of this, war, hate, everything that has happened to me that is bad. Who am I?!?!

I want to move, to wake up, anything. I try to move my limbs or cry out for Maddox, but the panic risen in my sleep keeps me still, in shock.

Violent and strong shaking from someone awake finally breaks my trance. Screaming and drenched with sweat, I am immediately on my feet and running wherever, deep into the wooded area.

"Rean?" Maddox screams, and footsteps followed me. 

No! No! No more chasing! Somebody help me!  My voice is going hoarse from screaming, my lungs searing with pain when I gasp for breath. Finally, I collapse into a messy heap, uncontrollably shaking, trying to intake breath but failing, tears pouring buckets down my face. This random panic had risen in my throat and it feels like I am dying.

Maddox catches up, and wraps his arms around me after a cautious moment. 

"Hey... hey.... it's okay.... nothing bad is coming after you... it's all right... shh.." he coos.

"No, no, we have to leave... no. They are following... please.." I blubber, probably making no sense. His strong arms help me feel safe, though, and eventually the tears stop, drying on my face. We sit there quietly, me shuddering and still trying to breathe and calm down, Maddox and his freaked out face, but, not letting go.