Her

Part Ten:

Silence.

We had walked back to the car, got in, and I turned it around and drove. And drove. In silence.

Trying to keep my eyes on the road, the image of Maddy tilting his head towards mine plays over and over and over again. I can't even glance at him. My face will flame if I do. 

I ask myself, "What would of happened ?" like an innocent lamb.

But I think we all know.

So I and he. We. He and I. Us. We sit in, you guessed it, silence as I try to drive and he stares out the window. I mentally sigh. Like 23,079 times. I do not even know why it is bothering me so much.  Make that 23,080.

I drive on, for minutes and minutes, and the time is crawling by like slow molasses drippin' off a waffle. I can't take it anymore. Apparently he can't either.

"What even just happened?" I ask at the same time he says, "I'm sorry for leading you on."

I fall silent again, feeling small and humiliated. Of course. I shouldn't of thought anything more was beneath this bump.

"Never mind." I say "Just... emotional stuff. I understand." I cut him off before he can embarrass me more. Too late.

"Really, I am. I shouldn't of done that. It has just been awhile since I've been around the opposite gender besides the Torturers. Hormones are jumping." he sounds quiet.

I am mortified. Are we seriously having a hormone eew talk?

"They gave me medicine so I wouldn't feel emotions like that as well... Like in the book 'The Giver', y'know? I guess I just kinda let go-" I nod, because they gave me medicine like that too, but I cut him off.

"Seriously. I get it." I chirp, trying to sound friendly, but blarghg. I glance in the rearview mirror to see my face the color of Bob the Tomato. In my peripheral vision I see him glance at me, and I can't tell if he just scooted a lot closer or I am imagining things. Yeah I am imagining things. I really, really don't want or need this to happen right now. I mean, I just basically escaped a mental hospital, where the doctors are mental, and I am already having hormones thrown at me? No thanks, honey. It is getting increasingly darker and I scout for places for us to rest for the night. That will probably be even more embarrassing.

"Rean," he begins slowly.

"Oh look! A place for the night. I'm getting tired anyways." I force out like a cartoon character. I pull off the road quickly and behind some underbrush so no one sees the car, then get out to smooth the tracks and check to make sure we are well concealed.

I turn around and smack straight into Maddox.

"Oh my gosh I want this night to end and just sleep oh my stars someone help."  I think in all one word. I move to the car and grab the blankets, making sure there is plenty of distance between his and mine, then I lay down and turn away from him. 

"Okay, good night?"

"Yup! Night!" I chirp again, and force my eyes shut. I fall asleep fast.

Tossing and turning all night, memories flash through my mind. Of a couple, a lady and a guy. The lady could be me, like seriously. Just in a few years. The guy has the same eyes as mine though. 

Wait. Could these be my parents?

I wake up, shooting into a sitting position. I look at Maddox to see him sitting a few feet away with his head in his hands.... his shoulders shaking, back turned to me.

I move next to him, and he looks up.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's not your fault." he says even quieter, now staring through the star lit sky at a tree. "He was one of my classmates.... a senior. Funny, smart, popular-" he stops. We are silent for awhile. The tears in his eyes reflect the stars, and I melt a little. I feel like I am sharing his sadness. We just met. I don't know... when I met him it just felt like, cliché as it sounds, something clicked, like I found my best friend or something.

Eventually I end up on my back, staring at the alluring night sky, and I look over to see he is too.

"It is crazy that we are just small, miniscule, non existent beings in an infinite universe that stretches on and on and on. All these galaxies and planets and the universe, and who knows what else is out there? How the stars are just balls of brilliant gas that can die out and it takes years for anybody to ever find out. It is kinda like that for people, too." I finally say. I sound.. well, sorry for the pun, but star-struck.

I look over to see him nod, and I watch the universe in his endless eyes.

Well, he said there isn't any spark, basically, but gosh darn it I'm gonna start a forest fire.