How To Hide A Body

I Can't See It; Crystal Clear

I adjusted the azure turban that crowned my head. My hair had been tucked into it, hoping it would help it stay in that way. Because, if it fell... That would be embarrassing. How many times had I pretended to be a man? I must have lost count. I stood in a loose silk fit, the same azure colour as the turban only embellished with gold. My turban meanwhile had the fake diamond fixed in place and a thermos balanced on my head with the turban covering it. I hope it wouldn't tip.

"Are you sure about this?" Bart asked, from inside the car.

He was wearing an expensive suit; dark glasses framed his face. He was always worrying about me. Well, he is my bodyguard.

"Positive. If I could fake Alan Rickman's death, I can do this," I muttered, squirming around on the expensive leather seat. I was surprised the crystal champagne glass in my hand didn't shatter, for I was holding it so tightly.

"Okay. Just be careful," he said.

Our dark limousine pulled up outside the pyramid museum. Yesterday I had hacked the ticket machine, to make the cards give false barcodes, so the card guard would not let people inside. Thus, the once very busy museum, was empty, except for a few lucky people, that had bribed the security guards. I entered the Louvre, and Bart immediately went into character. He rushed up to the ticket desk, explaining my supposed identity. I was acting as a rich, Indian millionaire. 

The ticket guy looked at me suspiciously and asked Bart for my ID. He showed the fake ID, which took a lot of effort, and the ticket guy nodded and motioned for the museum guards to let me in. Bart told them to evacuate the area when I came to a specific exhibition, so I 'wouldn't be disturbed'. The Regents Diamond Exhibition. I wanted to get the job over and done with, as soon as possible, with as little witnesses as possible.

As I entered, the museum guards followed while Bart was held back by a few other men.

"Excuse me, no. I have my bodyguard, and that's enough," I gestured them away.

"Sorry, Mr Ansari, but it is the regulations of the museum. You have to be escorted by them."

Hesitantly, I looked at Bart. He nodded and left the room. Well, I knew exactly where he was going.

Even though the museum had tons of exhibitions, I made a beeline for the Regents Diamond. As soon as I entered, the guards left my side and stood at the door, guns at the ready. But, they looked as if they knew something. Did my blackmailer tell them? Did they know my plan? They couldn't. The only other person who knew my plan was Bart. And I trust him with my life. Well, I do that every day. I don't have a choice. Speaking of Bart...

I looked straight at the small security camera located at the top right-hand corner of the museum and winked. In five seconds, the lights would go out.

1- I walked carefully around the Regents Diamond.

2- I expressed fascination with the Regents Diamond.

3- I glanced back at the camera and smiled.

4- reached for my turban.

5- walked closer to the glass.

6- I began to grow worried.

7- I let go of my turban.

8- looked back at the camera.

9- looked at the camera, winked fiercely then glanced at the guards.

10- lights off.

I breathed out, but I didn't have much time. During everyone's confusion and confused scuffling from the guards, I had precisely 5 minutes to complete the task. I glanced at my watch, which had glow-in-the-dark hands so I could see the time. It was currently 10:55. I had to finish by 11:00. I took off my turban and grabbed the thermos from my head which had been balancing there since we entered the museum, and I poured the boiling contents over the glass. See, the glass supplier I had gotten hold of, wasn't a glass supplier. He was a sugar glass supplier. The sugar glass melted with almost immediate effect due to the hot water. Although I couldn't see- I forgot my night vision spectacles in the car- I could hear the glass sizzling away. Then I reached for the diamond, and switched it with the diamond which was in my turban, the fake plastic one, and wedged the real diamond into the small, now melted, display box. I looked at my watch, 10:59. Then, I fell to the floor.

The lights went on and almost blinded me. My ears started ringing after the sudden surge of light. When my pupils adjusted, I had the guards on both sides, attempting to help me up.

"What just happened?!" I shrieked, as I let them help me up.

"I do not know, sir. I think there was a power failure," the one guard to my left said. I will call them Lefty and Righty.

Then suddenly, Righty gasped and pointed without saying a word at the case.

"The case! The one side is gone!" Righty said.

Lefty was touching the sides, and mentioned, "The one side is missing!"

They both looked at me suspiciously, and I did the right thing. I fainted. As I hit the floor, I heard Lefty and Righty gasping, and rushing to my side. I decided to stay there for 20 seconds; eyes closed, the only movement coming from my chest. I counted to twenty, silently in Swahili. Speaking of, I haven't spoken Swahili in a long time. The floor was surprisingly comfortable, so I decided to count to 35 before opening my eyes. 

When I opened my eyes, the director was there, reaching out his hand to help me up. As I regained my balance, he was apologising, in French and English, then shouting at the staff. The police came running in, guns lifted, but when they saw no one suspicious, they lowered them. After they searched the case and the rest of the room, they said that they would have to interrogate every witness and then they wanted a copy of the security footage.

After they interrogated Righty and Lefty, they wanted to question me. Even though I have a bachelor degree in theatre, I was still nervous. They didn't know the diamond was a fake, but glass just instantly disappearing, and the diamond remaining 'untouched' is a bit out of the ordinary.

They placed me on a chair, isolated from all the other witnesses and asked, "So, Mr Ansari. While, before and after the lights were off, you were doing what?"

"Well, before the lights went off, I was admiring my country's diamond, when suddenly everything went black. I couldn't see a thing! Then I felt dizzy. I have a fear of the dark you see. So I lent forward, hoping the case would support me, but my hand went straight through! I pulled my hand back out of shock, and then I wanted to make sure I wasn't being foolish and tried to feel the glass once more, but I felt no glass! Then, well I fainted," I said, wiping a forced tear from my eye, and pretending to shake.

"I see. And if we watch the security footage, we will find you doing that?" The lady asked, who was interrogating me wondered.

She had a smooth voice, and her auburn hair was as soft. She held a clipboard and a pen and was taking notes.

"Yes, of course!" I exclaimed.

"Okay then, let's see-" she started.

I didn't mean to shoot her. Okay, maybe I did. I would love to say it was a tranquilliser, but as I saw the blood, I realised I had gotten my guns switched up. Whoops. I had to act quickly. I erased the security footage because I wasn't sure if Bart had deleted it because time was short. Then, I placed the gun in her hand, making it look like a suicide. I could be quite annoying sometimes. Of course, I will be long gone before they realised the truth. 

Then, because no one was there, I got changed into the clothes I had hidden underneath the sari. I climbed into a fresh pair of denim jeans, a green top with My Patronus is Beyoncé written on it. I was planning on not taking anything. But then I saw her shoes! I thought, why the hell not? And they were my size! They were beautiful, sleek, black combat boots, and they fit me perfectly. I placed the sari robes and everything in her bag. Then I removed the diamond from the turban and placed that in my leather handbag, which I slid over my shoulder. I took her gun because if I had left her one in her hand, they would notice there weren't any bullets missing. Her weapon was roughly the same as mine. I placed it in my bag, next to the diamond, and of course, grabbed her keys.

Then I ran.