Society. [LEGIT READ DESCRIPTION SO I DONT GET EMBARRASSED]

thoughts

God made me.
He made me who i am now
He planned everything that has ever and is happening to me till this day and onwards

i once wrote on my notebook that

we are all incomplete, we are all broken
and in life
we pick up all the pieces to create us.
we are trying to complete ourselves
like we are a puzzle, we pick up pieces trying to figure out who we truly are.
on the process we will leave something behind. we will pick up a new one and that will go on and on until we reach the place where our puzzle is complete. until we are complete.

but we are not talking about the end. we are talking about the process.

we will change ourselves to be better or worse.
we are desperately trying to be our true self.
we made ourselves for the better or worse. we change ourselves through the lesson we learned.

and in billie eilishs post. she put a caption that says

ignorant hoes think this success made me. bitch i made me.

see that.

i made me.

maybe one day you'll say

"hey why u become so fancy all of the sudden since you moved?"

or maybe one day you'll say

"since when you started wearing clothes like that?"

or

"you've changed a lot"

bitch. im still me.
is that your problem if i never wanted to show that side of myself?

i. made. me.

if one day i decided to change then yeh deal with it. that's life.

but changing yourself isnt that easy. it takes a lot.

sometimes you change yourself because of your past.
sometimes you change yourself because of pain, and your problems.
sometimes you change yourself without you realizing it, just because something happened.

and sometimes you change yourself with commitments, nothing particular happened. just a commitment between you and yourself.

but sometimes people dont change. they are just hiding their true selves.

look. i put different personality to everyone. to treat everyone that i know the way it suits them. so you all dont get all childish and stuff.

so i cant show my true self. only a part of me
i dont even know my true self.
i was too long pretending i became that.

i became a person who people wants to see.
not who i want to be.

society literally did that to me. and i cant really go back, as much as i want to i lived like this and i know you guys do too.

like the ancient Japanese beliefs.
the japanese believe that we have three masks

one we show to the world
the other we show to the people close to us, like friends and families.
and the last, you never show to anyone because its the real you

and you know why all the masks are categorized like that right?

we have to put on that mask. the mask that everyone wants to see, so that they could be pleased.

somehow pleasing people made me feel like I'm a less horrible person. it is tho. but not like this.

you can't sacrifice yourself just for the sake of the satisfaction of the people who doesn't even care about your well being.

you can't live up to their expectation.

so why not live up to your own?

besides you are the only one who knows yourself best.

people only know the fake you. the masked you. the person that you put up to the show.

just like actors. being someone else on the show in front of people. living up to peoples expectation. and once they reveal themselves. boom hatred.

just like us. in society. dont you think?

---

this honestly will rust in the drafts if i dont publish it, so here ya go.
old chapter, freshly published

you know the drill, fix the grammar errors, spelling mistakes and selection of vocabs in your head.

oh and btw, read the descriptions of this book, i updated it, its a bit long but ya better read it, for ur sake.

thanks, i owe u lots.