Hands; Fack

09; Forever and Always

Jacks POV

"For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."

~The Following Morning~

It's been a day since Finn dumped me. I thought we were perfect, i thought he was perfect. He had been acting differently lately, but i never had the nerve to ask him about it. That was my mistake. The doorbell rang, I'm home alone. My mom and Emily went out shopping, i didn't feel up to going. I go down stairs and open the door, no one is there. Then i see it. My old broken skateboard that Finn took on the first day we met. It was fixed, and a note was taped to it. I picked it up and too it to my room. I read the note. "Hey, Jack. I'm sorry. You were the best part of me. And I didn't want to spoil that. So I decided to take a little journey, unfortunately I wasn't able to take your skateboard with me, hope ya don't mind I fixed it up a it. Hold onto to it for me. I don't know when we'll see eachother again, an angel like you deserves to go somewhere totally different than where I'm probably going. I did what you told me not to, I'm sorry. It was for the best though. You deserve so much more than what I can give you. I don't deserve you, I don't deserve anyone. I love you, my little pastel cutie. And please know that none of this is your fault. It's all my choice, and I think it's the best one. I deserve this. I texted Jae to come pick this up and deliver it to you tomorrow morning. I'll be off on my journey by then. So yeah, I love you, and thank you for making the past 2 months, the best out of my past 15 years of living. Take care, love. Forever and always -Finn". He's gone. I sob, and hugged my skateboard. I saw writing on the back of the note it said "I'll miss being the message man -Jaeden" I cried more. Then I saw an engraving on the bottom of my skateboard, it said "FW💘JG", I hugged it closer, than I kissed it. I'm gonna miss his hands holding mine, holding our skateboard doesn't feel as warm and comfy. I sat up, wiped my tears, wishing it was him wiping them.

~3 days later~

I didn't think I could even make it out of bed today. But I have to go today, for him. I get dressed in my black suit, I can't recall the last time I wore black. I make sure his bracelets are tight around my left wrist, and my mother, Emily, and I leave my house.

~1 hour later~

It's time to give my eulogy, I get up from my seat, look over at Wyatt and Jaeden, they are crying. I walk up to the stand, clear my throat, look out at my depressed audience, and begin. "A eulogy is made to bring a comfort to the ones affected by the loss. Unfortunately for you, I didn't write this for that purpose. I wrote it so I could tell my boyfriend what I never had the chance to say. Finn Wolfhard, I have been told one too many times that I should let go. But as you have found out over the past 2 months, I get attached easily. Usually, with time, I would be able to let go. I've done it as many times as I've been told to. I don't think this will be as easy. I haven't slept since our last conversation, Wolfy. I understand 4 days without sleep isn't healthy, but as you've figured out, neither am I. I don't know where you are, but you are certainly not standing beside me with your arms wrapped tightly around me. I got too attached to that.You were the first person I met in this town. You were my first actual best friend. You were my first boyfriend. You were my first kiss. You were my first heartbreak. You were my first love. You might be my only love. You made me run out of tears. I ran out of tears the night you called me. I thought I did something wrong. I thought back to everything that happened to pinpoint what I did wrong. Then, the following day, I got a knock on my door. I read your note, and it all clicked. I saw your whole mood change within the past month, but I didn't care enough to ask. No one did I guess. It hurts to not have you by my side, saying cheesy puns. It hurts to not be around you anymore. It hurts to not be with you anymore. Finn Wolfhard, you are the pain I won't let go. For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you. I love you, forever and always."