My feelings

it feels good to cry in the shower

Feeling miserable at the moment. I feel unwanted it's like no matter what I do it's wrong. I feel unappreciated it's like all the little things and big things I Do Don't Mean a Thing. My birthday is coming up and I'm not even happy about it. I don't know how much longer I can make these fake Smiles last. I want to die so badly but then I feel bad for feeling that way because of my daughter. When I'm with her that's when I truly smile that's when I feel happy all the little things I do for her she loves. I feel so bad when I break down in front of her and cry she shouldn't have to be there to cheer me up at such a young age.  sometimes I really hate that I have such a caring heart. I tend to let people walk all over me even though I tell myself over and over again not to let them. I really truly hate my eye condition. It sucks when you want to go somewhere and you can't cuz he can't go by yourself or because no one trust you because of your disablement. And when they do take you somewhere you have to wait forever and get to go with they want to go yet and hurry up because they're rushing you know you want to take your time and all they do is tease you and get mad at you for walking slow. I wonder how they would feel if they seem things the way I do.. if anybody's reading this I know you are probably thinking why don't you get up and do things yourself I know people that are blind that do it by blah blah.  I'm trying I really am trying I'm calling places and I just give me the run-around I really do want to do things on my own I'm tired of waiting at home all day for nothing. I don't know if you can consider it a home I'm not really happy and don't have my own personal space. Sorry for any confusion or misspelling I am venting talking into my phone.  and I am crying while I am saying this so that's probably not helping.  it really sucks when someone looks at you and only sees your flaws why do people have to be so cruel??? Want to know a secret?  I have been feeling sad depressed if you want to call it since I was pregnant and my daughter is now 5.  wish I had some physical friends where I live I have friends but they're online. You know you don't want to be that friend that's always calling when they're sad or crying.    I know some of them say it's okay you can call me or we can talk but then I see other people posting that they get annoyed by the depressed people. I think I'mma start crying myself to sleep again well I guess that's if I can I have to share a room with someone that hates me.