TOXIC

Chapter 4

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING
RAPE, SELF HARM, AND OTHER HEAVY TOPICS ARE PRESENT IN THIS CHAPTER.
IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE, PLEASE DONT READ

Chris looked over at me from the driver's seat, "Babe, I'm going to lay out some rules, ok?" I nodded my head, already knowing what he was going to say.
"You have to behave and introduce yourself to my friends at the party. And I don't want to hear any of that social-anxiety bullshit, ok? That's just shit people make up for attention so don't even try it with me." Chris refused to believe that anxiety all together was even a thing, let alone believe I had it. He took away all my medications and called me an idiot for "making up excuses".
"Also, you can't talk to anyone unless I say you can and you have to stay within my sights at all times." Chris said firmly.
"Lastly, you aren't allowed to leave until I leave. You drive me home when I get drunk, ok?"
Chris started the car and we drove to his friend's house up in the hills. He parked the car on their lawn and walked up to the enterance.
A hundred thoughts raced through my mind.
Don't mess this up.
Chris will be mad.
Chris will hurt you.
Speak up.
Be loud enough.
They'll judge you.
They'll hate you.
Chris rang the doorbell, put his arm around my shoulder and waited for the door to open. A young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes opens the door.
"Hey, Chris! What's up?", she asked.
Chris laughed and I could see from the way he acted with her, that he was obviously attracted to her.
"I'm fine, you?", Chris smiled sweetly as he pinched my shoulder. "I'm good," she replied. "And who is this?"
"This is my friend, Josh.", Chris said. He always introduced me as his friend because he had too much of a "jock" status to admit he wasn't straight.
"H-hi." I muttered out, my legs shaking as I spoke. She smiled ever so kindly, "I'm Jenna. Come on in you guys."
The party had already started, people were filling up their cups with vodka, lighting cigarettes and playing foolish party games like Spin The Bottle.
I sat down on their couch and watched the movie that was playing. Chris went over with Jenna to grab a drink and from the way he was acting, he was just trying to get into bed with her. It's funny how he calls me a slut.
Suddenly a boy with the most emo, yet adorable haircut plopped on the seat next to me,"Hey! I'm Brendon. What's your name and how are you?"
I started shaking anxiously, unsure of what to say, "Uh I'm J-Josh."
He smiled back at me, one eye squinting slightly more than the other. As I looked into his mocha eyes, I could see loneliness. He had emotions bottled up and wore a smile to cover it up. Tyler says I'm good at reading emotions. I guess it's just something I know from experience.
"So, whatcha doing at a party just hanging out on the couch? Why don't we go outside, grab some beer and stargaze?", Brendon asked. For some weird reason, I wanted to go with him. He was adorable and sweet and I just wanted to get to know him.
"Sure." I replied, not bothering to remember any of the rules Chris had layed out.