Where A Swimmer's heart lays.

1.

I gave it my all. Yet I always seem to fail. I sometimes think that I'm missing something. I just can't put the pieces together.

I've quit 6 jobs already. Even though I'm on the edge of breaking, I'm still hoping to have the job that my heart desires. It's something my brain doesn't know, only my heart shall.

I've found great jobs that anyone would die for, but I have this strange feeling, this isn't me. I'm proud of myself for holding onto hope. I guess that's the thing about being human.

I sigh as I get up from my dinner table to go on my computer on the couch. I go onto my Instagram and post a picture I took a while ago. It consists of the wind blowing the grass along with tiny flowers. To me it looks outstanding and I hoped others would see the same. So far I had 563 followers.

I go onto another website for finding jobs. I scroll for an hour until I see one that's interesting. It's one for working as an assistant for a guy who owns a building that has about 7 pools. Those pools had 2 coaches for each. Meaning there were 14. There will be 5 swimming teams occupying the building except on Saturdays and Sundays where all rooms would be occupied. There will be two days off being Sundays and Monday's. Monday's are when they're closed. The pay is also really great, but I could care less about that.

I've been a swimmer since 3rd grade. I was really successful. I was always in first place. I was really into it. The waters always had called to me. That was until 7th grade when I had got 2nd place for the first time. People changed around me too. Setting me down and bullying me. They were going too far for the new winner. They were obeying him. I had quit. A year later when I was fifteen my parents kicked me out the house. I was homeless, but I still went to school everyday, I still went to the library everyday to study, along with working everyday to support myself until I finished college. I had become extremely smart that any job would take me.

But my heart sunk a hole, where it drowned in its own pool of blood. Being betrayed for my own rank. I guess that's the part of being human. The guy leading this all was named Cyus. I hate that name. I hate how it rolls off my tongue. I hate how I pronounce it. I hate it. I don't like hearing it. I don't know him. But I don't hold a grudge against him. That's what the weak do.

My hand clicked onto the 'how to apply button without my brain thinking about it. I guess I still yearn to even be next to the pool. I still feel the sensation, it's a part of me I can't take away. The cold water, the way I forced my hands against the water. How I smelled just like Clorox even after shower times. I used to get mad about that.

I laughed.

I sat there. Just thinking how long it had been since I had laughed for the feeling of the waters. How long it had been since I even thought about it. I had always just pushed it in the back of my mind. Not wanting to feel the sensation of betrayal along with the happiness I was feeling now. Not wanting to remember how useless I had been for a whole year before getting kicked out. Not wanting my heart to cry out blood and drown even more. Deeper and deeper as if digging a grave for itself.

I decided to give the job a go. I wrote down the number the website had given me. Today was a Monday meaning it was closed Today, so I had decided to wait until tomorrow.

I headed up to the bathroom and started to strip. I turned the water to cold. I stepped back and turned to the mirror near the bathtub to take in my appearance.

I had black wavy hair that was cut short , up to my shoulders that gave me a sexy look. It went along with my light green eyes. My body type was pretty good and curvy. I had pale vibrent skin that sort of glowed. My breast were 38c and were a great round shape along with pink soft nipples to go along with it. My waist is very slim and with me going to the gym almost everyday, I had a four pack. My hips were a medium size that went along with my long soft legs. My figure stood at 5,6. I wasn't that tall, but I wasn't short either. I was pretty proud of my figure. I was always popular during high school and college, even at work. But I think the main reason was my personality. I'm caring and energetic, but I'm also sassy (if you get on my bad side) and fierce (if challenged). I'm now 25 and still single. Not that I never got asked out, I'm just not looking for a relationship. More like a journey an adventure even.

I climb into the shower and relax under the cold. Letting it devour me.